tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17977983977747801472012-02-15T19:10:50.929+08:00apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.comBlogger2511100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-37658255149877974992012-02-15T18:57:00.002+08:002012-02-15T19:10:50.991+08:00the curious case about love.. and the relationships we have with people...<br /><br />arrrgh...<br />there's no denying the fact that loving someone is such a beautiful feeling...<br />it's beauty is such that no words could describe exactly how beautiful it is..<br />it becomes more beautiful when the feeling is mutual.. when that other person loves you back just as much as you love them..<br />but to me...<br />this beautiful feeling can always hurt so much too...<br />but is it really love if it hurts so much?<br /><br />loving someone who hurt u before,<br />loving someone but couldn't tell them,<br />or loving someone and telling them, but that feeling isn't mutual, and so they tell you off..<br />when these things happen, <br />you have no choice but to accept how things are,<br />and because of that strong feelings you have for them,<br />all you wish for is to see them smiling..<br />you'll say that it makes you happy to see them smile..<br />but the truth is.. everytime they smile with somebody else,<br />it creates a hole in that heart of yours that hurts so much..<br />and you try to deny it..<br />but denying it makes it hurts even more..<br /><br />denial hurts..<br /><br />it's truly amazing how this beautiful feelings can hurt so much if you're unlucky enough..<br /><br />then there's friendships..<br />how long you've been friends don't matter,<br />sometimes, even the most stupid of things can destroy it..<br /><br />this is why sometimes i feel that its better to just remain in secluded.. isolated..<br /><br />but then, nobody in this world can stand solitude..<br /><br />no matter how painful it might get,<br />we all need someone to love.. to cherish for life...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-3765825514987797499?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-70515485820824733342012-02-01T01:09:00.001+08:002012-02-01T01:12:14.053+08:00aku tak tahu apa aku rasa sekarang.........<br />kadang-kadang tu aku rasa macam......entah eh.......<br />nak berbual dengan orang pun tak guna.....<br />sebab orang tak nak berbual dengan aku............<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-7051548582082473334?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-67084966969813038232012-01-20T23:49:00.001+08:002012-01-20T23:51:31.213+08:00my results are dropping with every passing semester..<br /><br />and right now i'm down with diarrhea during this semester break...<br /><br />sigh..........<br /><br />i'm really not good<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-6708496696981303823?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-26323232134345984022011-12-31T02:26:00.002+08:002011-12-31T02:30:25.470+08:00wow it's really been a long time since i last updated my blog..<br />seriously..<br />i wish i could update this thing more often..<br />despite the fact that i think that nobody's reading..<br />yes i'm very sure of it...<br />but unfortunately..<br />there really is nothing going on in my life..<br />nothing that is worthy to be written here so i can remember them..<br /><br />i am simply... out-of-favor... sorry.. lonely son of a gun...<br />but what the hell...<br /><br />tomorrow... the start of exams... i'm gonna need a whole lot of luck...<br />i hope i do well...<br /><br />peace out<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-2632323213434598402?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-35096834503000386552011-11-17T16:46:00.002+08:002011-11-17T16:57:07.709+08:00what is the point of being happy when you have no one to share it with?<br />how to let go of the things that are bothering you when you have no one to share them with..?<br />what is there to life when there is absolutely nothing that cheers me up?<br />what is there to life when there is nobody there?<br /><br />i have nothing to write..<br />what i know is,<br />i am very low in self-esteem..<br />my confidence is very low too..<br />i feel like nobody out there needs me..<br />this really kills me..<br /><br />am i really this insignificant in everyone's eyes?<br />the way things are..<br />this loneliness i feel..<br />seems like i am INSIGNIFICANT..<br /><br />i want to reach out to someone..<br />but i don't know who.. and where to..<br />there's really no one here who i truly regard as my best buddy..<br /><br />i tried and tried..<br />to find someone.. to share.. to make myself special in their eyes..<br />but i always fail..<br />and now i am at a point where i am too tired to even try to reach out to someone..<br />to find someone..<br /><br />this feeling is here to stay for quite some time yet..<br /><br />i am sad..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-3509683450300038655?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-78592530974416774842011-11-08T17:10:00.002+08:002011-11-08T17:23:15.694+08:00mungkin dulu..<br />aku senang mengata melihatkan orang dari jauh..<br />tapi bila terkena batang hidung sendiri..<br />baru tahu susah senang nak bangun untuk berdiri kembali..<br /><br />mungkin dulu..<br />aku mudah memberi nasihat tanpa mempraktikkannya sendiri..<br />tapi kini dah lain..<br />setiap kali orang meminta pandangan dan nasihat..<br />tak ada apa yang dapat ku berikan mereka..<br /><br />mungkin dulu..<br />kalau aku tak pernah melayan perasaan aku..<br />aku takkan pernah tahu rasa kecewa seperti ini..<br />mungkin kini aku takkan susah seperti ini..<br /><br />mungkin dulu..<br />kalau aku tak pernah menjatuhkan harga diri aku sendiri..<br />tak pernah hanyut dibuai rasa kecewa dan sedih..<br />mungkin kini aku lebih konfiden..<br /><br />tapi tanpa pengalaman dulu-dulu ini..<br />mungkin aku takkan pernah faham orang..<br />mungkin semua ini taklah negatif..<br />mungkin aku yang harus jadikan semua ini sesuatu yang positif untuk diri aku..<br /><br />tapi aku tak tahu langkah yang macam mana harus aku ambil..<br />jalan yang mana harus aku ikut..<br />adakah memberi ruang dalam hati ini untuk diisi seseorang satu langkah yang baik..<br />atau lebih baik aku terus menutupinya kerana takut kecewa..<br /><br />mengapa pelajaran seakan semakin sukar?<br />mungkin aku tak inginkan semua ini seperti satu ketika dulu..<br />ketika masih di sekolah menengah..<br />mungkin kini aku rasa harapan yang aku pernah ada dulu terlalu jauh untuk aku capai..<br /><br />mungkin aku hilang arah..<br />mungkin aku dah tak tahu apa yang aku nak..<br /><br />mungkin aku terlalu ikutkan nafsu..<br /><br />mungkin aku lelaki yang terlalu lemah peribadinya..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-7859253097441677484?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-62857798026783281962011-10-21T01:02:00.003+08:002011-10-21T01:09:11.997+08:00i have been so busy lately.. but seriously..<br />I AM FREAKING LAZY...<br />for quite some time now...<br />i feel like quitting...<br />but yeah... i dont want to quit...<br />i guess i dont really know what i want..<br /><br />n lately.. i think i am moving in circles..<br />a pattern that keeps on happening again and again..<br />everytime i try to befriend a girl..<br />things will not go down well..<br /><br />now i really think that there is something wrong with me..<br />am i really not good?<br /><br />sigh<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-6285779802678328196?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-39848421239006855502011-10-03T01:36:00.003+08:002011-10-03T01:47:10.233+08:00aku mungkin tak sefokus yang aku inginkan sekarang..<br />tetapi yang penting aku rasa tenang..<br />mungkin aku suka tekanan yang aku rasakan sekarang..<br />rasa pelajaran-pelajaran aku semakin susah...<br />tapi aku sedang ada masalah menghafal...<br />mungkin ini kali pertama aku rasakan begini..<br />tapi tak apa...<br />aku perlu sabar...<br /><br />buat masa ni,<br />azam aku untuk kerap ke haram masih tak dapat aku laksanakan...<br />aku tak tahu...<br />tapi aku jenis yang perlu banyak rehat...<br />aku tak berapa pandai bahagikan masa aku...<br />hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..............<br /><br />ohh.. abang sedara aku seorang ni baru nikah...<br />dia pemain gitar kumpulan KLUTZ...<br />so selamat pengantin baru aku ucapkan padanya..<br />aku doakan dari jauh je laaa...<br />memang aku dah banyak ketinggalan dan tak tahu semua yang terjadi dalam keluarga aku..<br />moga Allah berkati kau dengan isteri kau dan panjangkan jodoh korang berdua laa..<br /><br />lagi seorang pula akan nikah januari nanti insya allah...<br />hahaha...<br />dorang cakap aku ni terlalu lambat laaa..<br />aku tak perlu dorang beritahu aku pun aku dah tahu laa kaaan...<br />tapi tak pasal laaa...<br />aku ada kerja aku...<br />korang teruskan laaa hidup korang...<br /><br />kawan aku ruknuddin dah tunang...<br />dan seorang lagi pun sama...<br />hahaha...<br />tahun ini tahun yang baik dari segi jodoh orang laaa...<br /><br />aku pula dari segi jodoh tak laaa baik kan...<br />tapi tahun ni baik untuk aku sebab aku rasa rezeki aku murah alhamdulillah...<br />yang penting aku sihat dan hidup aku tak dibebani masalah yang aku tak tahan nak menghadapi sudah...<br /><br />sebab aku memang lemah orangnya...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-3984842123900685550?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-24237038044118194042011-09-20T17:51:00.002+08:002011-09-20T17:56:04.361+08:00the first week of school this is..<br />its boring to be honest..<br />but what the hell..<br />i am taking things easy..<br />basically i have been taking things too easily...<br />not serious at all..<br />heheh<br /><br />ok...<br />one thing i have to admit..<br />and i think i wrote about it here, <br />is i hate to see my resemblance in people..<br />anthing people do that reminds me of myself, <br />well.. i just hate it...<br />especially when they are negative things...<br /><br />i don't like myself...<br />but i love myself more than anybody else alive..<br />hahhahaha<br /><br />well.. talk about me and my craps...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-2423703804411819404?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-78476265723866931072011-09-17T15:49:00.002+08:002011-09-17T16:05:17.906+08:00minggu ini,<br />penggal baru persekolahan bermula lagi..<br />bermulalah satu lagi cabaran..<br /><br />singapura dah ditinggalkan lagi..<br />maknanya aku mesti tinggalkan sekali semua cerita-cerita dan bebanan-bebanan yang aku rasai ketika berada di singapura..<br /><br />aku dah berjaya tinggalkan semuanya..<br />kecuali satu..<br />hati aku masih terikat pada yang satu ini...<br />masalah yang tak penting lagi bodoh yang selalu mengganggu ruangan hatiku..<br /><br />padahal semuanya dah terang bersuluh..<br />cuma aku sahaja yang enggan membaca setiap tanda yang ada...<br />mungkin itu tanda marah dan kecewa?<br />atau tak boleh terima kenyataan?<br /><br />kekadang terasa aku seolah-olah terlalu terdesak..<br />mungkin terlalu terburu-buru...<br />tetapi sebenarnya tidak...<br />aku selalu tahu dan fikirkan apa yang patut aku lakukan...<br /><br />tetapi tidak mengapa..<br />kerana sangkaanku dan jangkaanku semuanya tepat..<br />dan kini mulalah lagi satu cerita kebangkitan...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-7847626572386693107?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-44445739469458513462011-09-06T07:10:00.002+08:002011-09-06T07:17:13.180+08:00last day in singapore today this year..<br />then im back in madinah again...<br />well i don't know where asrory is....<br />hmmmm...<br />yesterday i went jalan2 raya with friends...<br />and at the end of the day...<br />well...<br />we hugged each other...<br />and i wanted to cry...<br />the tears were in my eyes..<br />but nothing fell...<br />yup...<br />i don't know why i couldn't cry lately...<br /><br />so today my plan is to confirm my flight..<br />and take some passport pictures...<br />then start packing my bags...<br /><br />and lastly...<br />send some personal messages to some important people...<br /><br />well..<br />im wondering...<br />if today;s message was the last message i send u...<br />well...<br />will you at least say something?<br /><br />maybe walking away isn't a bad idea after all..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-4444573946945851346?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-8132591776205921532011-08-27T23:16:00.003+08:002011-08-27T23:33:30.359+08:00cuti dah nak habis... <br />basically aku dah buat semua yang aku rasa aku nak buat.. <br />kecuali satu.. <br />pergi USS <br /> <br />tapi itu pasal aku tak ada sen <br />n also pasal aku tak ada mood.. <br /> <br />tapi aku ada gagal juga... <br />secara ringkas... <br />family aku perlukan bantuan aku... <br />dan bila aku bantu... <br />keadaan jadi semakin buruk... <br />akhirnya tak dapat diperbaiki lagi.. <br />aku rasa seolah2 semuanya salah aku... <br />senang kata aku marah dengan diri aku sendiri... <br /> <br />aku juga akhirnya mengumpulkan semua keberanian aku untuk beritahu seseorang yang aku minati dan suka tentang perasaan aku... <br />sebab sejak 3 tahun lalu... <br />aku memang terus diam dan diam... <br />dan aku takut untuk jatuh hati dengan seorang perempuan... <br />jadi aku bilang je si dia ni.. <br />padahal aku dah dapat baca yang 70% chance yang dia tak minat pun dengan aku... <br />cuma menganggap aku seorang kawan dan tak lebih dari kawan... <br /> <br />tapi kejadian musim haji lalu, bila aku hampir2 mati, buat aku rasa aku tak boleh pendam semua... <br />luahkan apa2 yang patut kepada mereka yang betul2 worth it.. <br />and aku rasa dia worth it... <br />and trust me.. aku very careful and betul2 pilih and perhatikan personality seseorang.. <br />cuma yeah.. bila aku beritahu dia.. <br />dia tolak dengan cara yang baik dan jujur.. <br /> <br />dan itu dah mencukupi untuk aku.. <br />kecewa.. tapi lega.. <br />sebab sekarang aku dah tak fikiran pasal adakah perasaan aku dibalasnya atau tak.. <br />dia anggap aku special macam aku anggap dia special ke tak... <br />dan macam mana aku nak luahkan perasaan aku.. <br /> <br />hakikatnya.. <br />keadaan aku yang tak akan dapat selalu dekat dengan seseorang <br />puts me in a great disadvantage... <br />nobody likes to wait... <br /> <br />but at least i was honest with my feelings.. <br />i didn't force it.. <br />it came naturally.. only that it was not mutual.. <br /> <br />and i was sincere trying to help my family.. <br />it's only that what i did, <br />was simply not good enough.. <br /> <br />yes the holidays seem to end in a sour note.. <br />but i am a traveler... <br />and my journey continues.. <br />but i walk reluctantly.. <br /> <br />it seems like my longing for company, <br />for someone who loves me and is willing to wait for me, <br />well the search just goes on again.. <br />what i know is.. <br />at the moment... <br />i want to point my finger in the direction to someone... <br />but there's no one there... <br />and its sad...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-813259177620592153?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-66759985207232911822011-08-18T10:33:00.003+08:002011-08-18T10:40:26.047+08:00i only have 20 more days in singapore.. <br />its something that is making me a little bit stressed.. HAHAHA <br /> <br />well lately.. <br />i've been thinking about what should i do if i managed to graduate... <br />i really have no idea of what to do in the future... <br />but i have an interest in psychology... <br />maybe.. just maybe... i will try to learn psychology... <br />well.. <br />basically because i think i'm gonna need it since my job might require me to handle people.. <br />so yeaaah... <br /> <br />and i have a particular someone on my mind... <br />i don't know what to do though.. <br />this is the first after a long long time... <br />and yeah.. <br />me being me.. <br />i'm god damn serious when i wanna do things... <br />but i don't know how to say it... <br /> <br />well.. <br />i'm scared because my future is still very unclear... <br />and i have 3 long years to go before graduating... <br />so yeah... <br />who am i to make someone waits if and only if, the feeling is mutual...? <br /> <br />on the other hand... <br />i have this feeling that i have nothing to lose at all... <br />but i need time to think of my next step... <br /> <br />but yeah... <br />i try to be the best.. i try to choose the best... <br />but in the end.. <br />its in God's hands... <br /> <br />if i am sincere though... <br />insya allah... <br />i will never disappoint and end up disappointed.. <br />this is what i believe<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-6675998520723291182?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-24094585878616653352011-07-31T20:12:00.002+08:002011-07-31T20:29:42.120+08:00i am getting lazier to blog.. basically because i have nothing to write about..<br /><br />yes i am a dull person so yeah...<br /><br />but a few days ago was my birthday...<br />i have successfully managed to minimize the number of people wishing me through facebook..<br />well..<br />i am not telling lies when i said i don't really celebrate birthdays...<br />that's just it...<br /><br />but even so...<br />i was bored the other day..<br />like i said many times...<br />i will only hang out when i have reasons to do so..<br />i don't really like staying outdoors doing nothing and without any plans..<br />but on the 27th, i was told to go to a briefing about the job i'll be doing starting tomorrow...<br />and so i went...<br />and when the briefing was done, i made my way to tampines.. i wished to hand a skincare cream fathin ordered me to buy..<br />but she said she just returned home from hospital...<br />so i called my bro amy... i thought maybe we should grab something and go home together after that... well.. since he's working at tampines and lives in woodlands..<br />but he said he was already at yishun...<br />and i was already on my way to tampines...<br />i didn't know what to do... quite bored..<br />so i asked sarah whether she was gonna work overtime or not..<br />she said no and she was busy..<br />but i was glad she was able to see me for awhile that day...<br /><br />i walked her home... <br />i asked about her holidays and such...<br />and in the end she simply wished me a happy birthday...<br />i felt elevated.. so happy.. which is quite weird for someone who don't celebrate his own birthday.. HAHAHA<br />but yeah i guess deep down inside me... <br />i appreciate those who remember me...<br />and i can't hide the fact that it does feel beautiful to have people around me and remembering me..<br />the feeling that some people other than your own kin acknowledge your existence...<br />hmmmm<br /><br />oh and i bought the crazily popular bubble tea from koi cafe..<br />hahhaa!! nothing special to me... but haryanti said i made a wrong order... so i guess next time i will buy what she recommended me...<br /><br />well i guess that's it...<br />this ramadhan..<br />my goal is to quit smoking... and also to keep my mouth shut...<br />i will make some changes in myself before i return to madinah that's for sure...<br /><br />because right now... people's resentment towards me is justified<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-2409458587861665335?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-25228524496913245892011-07-13T22:27:00.002+08:002011-07-13T22:35:15.500+08:00ok la i looked at my results...<br />i failed a subject...<br />which is exactly what i expected..<br />anyway im glad to be home..<br /><br />its been awhile since i last updated here..<br />but here we go..<br />i went to tanjong pinang one week after arriving in singapore...<br />well.. pictures are on facebook..<br /><br />and then i played football and such..<br />getting infection on the wounds i have in my foot in the process..<br />hung out with my best friends..<br />well... its been fun...<br /><br />and just now i spent my afternoon cleaning the graves of my nephew, and my late grandparents...<br />its good..<br />reminds me of my own death that will come one day...<br /><br />i pray that we will all meet in Jannah... aamiin..<br /><br />this saturday...<br />i will go to kuching insya allah...<br />going on a holiday again huh.. <br />hehehe<br /><br />well.. i want to enjoy..<br />i have no commitments,<br />no relationships with any girl..<br />so its easy for me...<br /><br />hahahaha<br />lonely...? yes.... but what the hell!!<br />3 years... no big deal...<br /><br />hidup single mati gentle bro..........<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-2522852449691324589?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-12414732616553332052011-06-13T23:26:00.003+08:002011-06-13T23:37:35.693+08:00this semester has been very difficult...<br />probably the toughest yet...<br />but alhamdulillah<br />it is finally over...<br />the exams are finally out of the way....<br /><br />i don't know why it is tough this time..<br />but what the heck...<br />i know after this.. things will not be the same..<br /><br />bab already left for singapore just now...<br />he should arrive in singapore tomorrow insya allah...<br /><br />so its me, acu, and sod left here among the budak nakal...<br />hahahaha!!<br /><br />haiiiz... please... time... i want to go back already...<br /><br />i guess in the meantime.. i need to find something to entertain me..<br /><br />because if i don't... i will only feel sad and the feeling of wanting to cry will be overwhelming... haiiiz...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-1241473261655333205?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-25540202126748253502011-06-02T04:31:00.001+08:002011-06-02T04:33:28.575+08:00i am coming home soon.. <br />but first i have to complete this major exams..<br />i don't know why i am so impatient to come back home this year..<br />but what the heck..<br /><br />i wana rest and have lotsa fun..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-2554020212674825350?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-74666164268331145822011-05-09T17:39:00.002+08:002011-05-09T17:42:02.678+08:00i am sick.. with examinations looming..<br /><br />its not a good time..<br /><br />and i have one research to do and i am yet to start with it.. seriously..<br /><br />i don't know what to do..<br /><br />this semester is definitely hard for me..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-7466616426833114582?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-61356144805274433542011-04-18T03:01:00.002+08:002011-04-18T03:16:13.819+08:00lately..<br />i have been left frustrated with the fact that my nokia N8 and E75 not working for various reasons even i don't know..<br />i did the right thing you know..<br />i went to the nokia care center in madinah..<br />i even left the phone there for repair for a month when the guy told me i could collect it back in 2 days time..<br />but i know how pathetic arabs are in their works, so i just do what i did..<br /><br />and when i arrived there to collect the damn phone..<br />i was told to wait for a bit... its ok.. waiting is normal here..<br />but when he passed me the phone.. i tried to switch it on.. but it just didn't work..<br />so i asked him "leisy la yasyghul jawwali hadza?"<br />n he answered in english: "u charge first"<br />when i returned home.. i charged the phone..<br />and yeah..<br />u got it right..<br />the phone is the same exact way as i first sent it to the care center..<br /><br />if after a month, the product is this, what do you think if i followed what he said and collect the phone 2 days after sending it there?<br /><br />so i am a very angry man..<br />hahha!<br />i have been angry at every little thing too much for nearly 3 years i think..<br />haahha<br /><br />i really need to start to cool down..<br />but hey..<br />i am someone who don't learn.. <br /><br />what the hell..<br /><br />just like i don't learn that i am always not good enough..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-6135614480527443354?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-55523748093197255322011-04-08T20:13:00.002+08:002011-04-08T20:17:31.341+08:00kicked our tournament off with a gritty display,<br />but a loss is still a loss..<br />our best was not enough to earn a win or at least a draw..<br /><br />so what now? well.. later today,<br />we plan to go to Mecca insya allah..<br />and perform umrah..<br />labbaikallahumma labbaik..<br /><br />i am relaxed..<br />despite the defeat..<br />and yeah about what i want now at the moment..<br />im just so relaxed about it..<br /><br />and one more thing..<br />u were right when u say nobody is good enough for u..<br />because that's what u are..<br /><br />u come, and then u feel bored, so u just leave..<br />what a pity..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-5552374809319725532?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-54898684650650886772011-04-04T10:54:00.002+08:002011-04-04T11:02:29.182+08:00kadang2 tu dah cuba macam2..<br />tapi natijahnya jarang yang memuaskan..<br />menunjukkan betapa lemahnya aku..<br /><br />kefahaman itu datang dari Allah..<br />dan bila aku tak faham apa2..<br />aku mula fikirkan apa yang dah aku buat sampai Allah tidak beri aku faham..<br /><br />kadang2 aku rasa aku tak mahu ada perasaan bergantung pada seseorang..<br />rasa ingin berbual dengan mereka dan berkongsi masalah..<br />kerana aku tak mahu rasa rindu pada orang2 yang entah akan terus bersamaku ataupun tidak..<br /><br />tetapi pada masa yang sama..<br />aku juga tak ingin rasa keseorangan lagi..<br />kesunyian yang mencengkam hanya membuatku fikirkan perkara2 yang tak elok..<br /><br />buak aku rasa seperti ingin berhenti sekolah,<br />rasa sudah terlalu letih..<br /><br />hakikatnya..<br />aku tak mahu merindukan sesiapa..<br />aku juga tidak mahu keseorangan lagi..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-5489868465065088677?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-52194770793361152472011-03-27T04:22:00.002+08:002011-03-27T04:25:46.745+08:00some say its charismatic,<br />some say its a load of crap,<br /><br />some say its sweet,<br />some say its shit,<br /><br />some say its realist,<br />some say its pessimist,<br /><br />some say its whining,<br />some say its telling things as they are..<br /><br />this is it..<br />what they say about me and what i write anywhere they can read..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-5219477079336115247?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-55510992908446891042011-03-20T16:53:00.001+08:002011-03-20T17:33:57.574+08:00i have to pick myself up..<br /><br />and ignore everything..<br /><br />and just focus on myself and the job in front of me<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-5551099290844689104?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-47273939963078098492011-03-18T23:58:00.002+08:002011-03-19T00:01:24.814+08:00what is clear in life is you have to keep the idiots, and idiocy, out..<br /><br />this is a very busy week for me..<br /><br />but i have confidence..<br /><br />i am very confident of my strength and ability..<br /><br />and with that, i think i will make it through this tough week unscathed..<br /><br />all is well..<br /><br />I'M THE BEST!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-4727393996307809849?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-27245171480857625102011-03-18T06:37:00.002+08:002011-03-18T06:54:04.924+08:00here.. i'm saying that the memories come back to me.. why?<br /><br />just now.. went to masjid an-nabawi..<br />after meeting with firdaus wahid who is here to perform umrah,<br />we went to an indonesian restaurant for dinner..<br />when i was eating, wafi looked at my right hand and said:<br />"piz...kau dah tak pakai gelang isha lagi eh?"<br />i smiled.. yes.. i haven't worn them for a long time..<br />but not because i don't want to, but rather,<br />it's because the rope thingy is already spoilt..<br />"tak pakai..tapi aku masih simpan lagi la..ada dalam bilik aku tu..aku tak tinggalkan kat singapore pon.."<br />and i start thinking bout her again..<br />yes.. i think about you isha..<br /><br />as soon as i returned to my dorm..<br />i opened the plastic in which i have it kept safely..<br />and i look at it for quite a long time..<br /><br />there was a time i lost it to be honest..<br />i was playing football in singapore..<br />i put it on a farhi's bicycle..<br />and when we were done, <br />all of us left the court and went to eat somewhere..<br />only then i realized that i forgot about the bangle..<br />i was restless..<br />but i couldn't do a thing coz i was already on the train home..<br />i remember telling abu, isa and the rest:<br />"sial la..bangle aku tu special untuk aku la!boleh tak perasan pulak!"<br /><br />the following week, we returned to the exact same court to play football again..<br />the first thing i did was going to the exact place where farhi's bike was the previous week..<br />and there it was.....<br />the bangle lying on the floor..<br />all wet because of the rain..<br />i swear i cried for a moment to see it there..<br />and i was relieved and very happy to find it again..<br /><br />the point is..<br />it is a treasure to me..<br />it was something you put on my wrist yourself..<br />it is small.. but very important to me..<br />and i don't forget these kind of things easily..<br /><br />yes..<br />i love you..<br />but i know..<br />i am just someone from the past to you..<br />i am like a bench on which you stopped for awhile to sit and rest,<br />before continuing on your journey again..<br /><br />and the memory remains...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-2724517148085762510?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-60858447852639605202011-03-12T23:23:00.002+08:002011-03-12T23:25:52.904+08:00i really feel that today is a very tiring day..<br /><br />i think i have every reason to sigh a lot..<br /><br />but in actual fact,<br /><br />its nothing at all..<br /><br />its just that my patience is running low at the moment..<br /><br />most times i feel patient studying..<br /><br />but not at the time..<br /><br />im just tired..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-6085844785263960520?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-32466885971035790482011-03-10T06:09:00.002+08:002011-03-10T06:23:45.384+08:00i was very happy 2 days ago..<br />talked to someone for a while..<br />for some reason, talking to that particular someone always put my heart at ease..<br />she acted as though she really cares, and was really sorry..<br />it just made me feel appreciated, or feel special.. like i mean something..<br />but hey..<br />i am the one who said nobody will always be there for you..<br />you can rely on people so much but in the end, you rely on yourself more than anybody else.. with the help of Allah..<br />:)<br />but still it feels nice just sharing everything that has been a burden in my mind..<br />and i thank her for pointing out my mistakes and help me give myself a second chance.. <br />she really helped..<br /><br />and today i will play in a tournament..<br />football tournament..<br />i was told to keep my cool..<br />well..<br />asking me to not be mad when everyone is not helping me,and losing, is like taking away my desire, passion, drive and commitment to the team..<br />i just have to take a swipe at my teammates when they don't help..<br />it's just me..<br />doing my best and trying to help us win..<br />but i admit i go overboard when cursing..<br />but that's just how i am..<br />i curse at people when they are not up to my expectation when playing football..<br />hahaha!!<br /><br />but i will try not to create a scene now..<br />but i already said i cant promise not to curse and swear at people..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-3246688597103579048?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-33282079323008378922011-03-01T17:03:00.002+08:002011-03-01T17:08:23.836+08:00when someone said i am the best..<br />whether literally or because of something i did for them..<br />i feel so pleased..<br />i feel very good..<br />i read some books on psychology..<br />it is said that men need praises and encouragement to feel loved..<br />while women need someone to listen to them without giving any solutions, and doing the small things like helping her in her chores to feel loved..<br /><br />but when i watched a video..<br />and reminded of how the companions of the prophet and also the ulama acted when praised..<br />i just cried...<br /><br />i cried badly...<br /><br />i seem to cry very easily lately..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-3328207932300837892?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-90229544706027302612011-02-27T04:36:00.002+08:002011-02-27T04:44:35.712+08:00lately..<br />i have been thinking that i need to give myself a second chance..<br />well..<br />i hope that after today..<br />any such thoughts are put to rest..<br />and will never ever appear in my mind again..<br /><br />why?<br />because i think i don't need someone who lacks respect..<br />for himself or herself and also for me..<br /><br />i don't need people who don't know what they want..<br />and i definitely don't need people who are content of being second best around me..<br /><br />any lingering thoughts i have regarding you..<br />well..<br />should be buried alive and left to die..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-9022954470602730261?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-61270946778856131132011-02-15T16:49:00.002+08:002011-02-15T16:55:04.809+08:00lagi sekali aku cuba masuk blog ni tapi punya laaaaa susah...<br /><br />haha..<br /><br />ok so minggu baru2 ini tak banyak benda berlaku..<br /><br />kecuali jadual sekolah dah keluar...<br /><br />dan yang memberatkan ialah aku sekolah petang..<br /><br />jadi aku perlu susun jadual harian aku dari mula untuk sesuaikan keadaan..<br /><br />nampaknya agak perit laaaaa kan..<br /><br />sebab dah lama aku tak sekolah petang jadi macam dah lupa cara susun waktu..<br /><br />tapi takpe.. kalau mahu semuanya boleh apaaaaa...<br /><br />lagi satu berapa hari yang lepas aku telah ke madain saleh..<br /><br />tempat tinggal kaum nabi saleh..<br /><br />dan nabi saleh ini lagi awal dari nabi isa..<br /><br />maknanya lebih dari 2011 tahun lalu la...<br /><br />dan terdapat bangunan2 yang masih wujud di sini..<br /><br />dan terus terang aku kata, ia amat menakjubkan..<br /><br />sekarang aku menanti salehan upload gambar2 yg ada...<br /><br />tu je la..<br /><br />sekarang aku baring tebongkang fikirkan apa aku nk buat..<br /><br />dan nak mimpi perkara2 indah sahaja.. hehehe :)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-6127094677885613113?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-40453766018304202952011-02-02T09:27:00.002+08:002011-02-02T09:43:49.933+08:00finally.. <br />after 2 weeks of trying,<br />i am finally able to post something on this blog..<br />i don't know why i always have problem logging in here..<br />and also reading other blogs lately..<br /><br />okay there are quite a lot of things that happened recently..<br />first of all..<br />exam is over..<br />and all results are out except one..<br />i am delighted with my achievements this semester,<br />wal hamdu lillah...<br />because i know the effort i put in was poor..<br />so the results, well most of them, come as a surprise even for me..<br />and alhamdulillah..<br />i am sure not complaining...<br /><br />secondly...<br />i went to Mecca again for umrah...<br />its the second time in a month..<br />alhamdulillah...<br />this is a blessing..<br />a very huge blessing indeed...<br />i always tell myself to try and not wasting what i have as much as i can..<br />and to make sure that i do the things that i consider easy...<br />and alhamdulillah...<br />i have the chance to go to the holy mosque quite easily...<br />alhamdulillah<br /><br />and thirdly..<br />the troubles in egypt..<br />it seems that every singapore students there are told to return to home..<br />well..<br />until the havoc stops..<br />i think its a good idea..<br />and if i could, <br />i would tell my friends there to go home..<br />go and don't burden your families with worries...<br />insya allah..<br />when all is settled down,<br />all of you will return there to continue your studies..<br />your jihad...<br />in the meantime<br />i hope that every single one of you will be able to travel safely..<br />and reach singapore in one piece..<br />ameen<br /><br />and finally...<br />even when everything seems good..<br />and i have every reason to be happy...<br />there is something that is making me sad..<br />so sad..<br />because i really can't do anything about it...<br />and i'm scared...<br />what if i'm asked later when its my turn to meet my maker...<br />what do i say to God for the things i just didn't do when they are my responsibility?<br /><br />what do i say when God asks me then?<br />Allah...<br />please forgive me.. and forgive my family members, including those that have passed away...<br />guide me and my family who is still here in this life towards the right path,<br />help us remember You ooo Allah..<br />for we are all weak..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-4045376601830420295?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-80234128046127506182011-01-14T00:01:00.002+08:002011-01-14T00:17:33.290+08:00at this moment of time,<br />i feel hurt, useless, insulted<br />to put it simply... just sad<br /><br />its like everything i do is never right...<br />like nobody ever saw my intentions...<br />nobody ever understood my reasons for doing the things that i do...<br /><br />but everybody sees all my mistakes...<br />and magnifies them 10 fold...<br />and they will tell me about my mistakes..<br />put me down... they just push me down with their words...<br /><br />they undermine me...<br />they just keep on insulting me...<br /><br />and i am really hurt....<br /><br />exams in two days...<br />but my mind is not on the exams.. seriously...<br />my head is just not in the game..<br />because i am down...<br /><br />so i think i am in need of a break...<br />maybe, i just need to go away for awhile...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-8023412804612750618?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-10096466779534734282011-01-11T18:17:00.002+08:002011-01-11T18:51:15.122+08:00i look at how the world keeps moving on...<br />leaving everything behind without any regard for anyone at all..<br />it just moves...<br />not waiting for anybody..<br /><br />and i gaze at the evening sky...<br />watching the cloud moves...<br />and feeling the cold, chilly winter wind blowing...<br />i start thinking about life...<br />like how with every passing moment, i am getting closer to my death..<br />i think about what have i done so far...<br />and i think about what i have learnt in my life so far...<br />it is scary to a certain extent...<br />because i know i haven't done anything in my life..<br />i haven't made an impact or left some impression on someone's life...<br />and i definitely haven't spread what i learnt about islam and syariah...<br />and i wonder is Allah satisfied with me.. is He pleased with me...<br /><br />i think about how Mohamed peace be upon him, reminded everyone who seek knowledge, especially the islamic ones, about the severe punishment promised upon them in hellfire if they learn only for the sake of honor or praise, and not for the sake of Allah...<br />i begin to feel very terrified about the thought...<br />what if i am among those who despite learning so much, will end up in the hellfire..<br /><br />this is a burden... and i seek guidance from Allah.. <br />and i ask for help and strength from Him to continue this path i have chosen....<br /><br />and then another thought came to me...<br />i was wishing that i could go back to the time when people don't know me..<br />the time when some even wondered if i was human or just an alien...<br />that was how mysterious i was...<br />and those are the types of comments that leave a smile on my face...<br />i miss it..<br /><br />and i am feeling very lonely indeed...<br />i need a companion...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-1009646677953473428?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-48384129952509756932011-01-04T22:27:00.002+08:002011-01-04T22:32:52.384+08:00i need this week to pass...<br />and all i want to do then is to cry for awhile...<br />there is nothing much i can to do to wash away my sadness..<br /><br />and i hope my plan for the weekends will go ahead as planned...<br /><br />because if i want to cry...<br /><br />there's no better place than Masjid Al-Haram of Mecca..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-4838412995250975693?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-60697613876932909032011-01-04T05:22:00.002+08:002011-01-04T05:34:37.629+08:00exam period.. so hectic..<br />im so exhausted with my own exploits..<br /><br />and as the clock ticks away, and as i arrive at this point of time,<br />i tend to look back on what i did..<br />i begin thinking...<br />"well.. life is shorter than most people think.."<br /><br />and yet i keep on turning behind to look at the things that i left along the way...<br />yes.. i think i even left myself somewhere along the way...<br />and i wonder.. why is it that everything must be left behind?<br />its at this point of time that i just want to cry and ease the pain i feel inside my chest...<br /><br />but i know i have everything to look forward to...<br />and i am doing my very best to make the best out of everything..<br />so that all those that i left along the way are not wasted...<br /><br />so now i have to study very hard..<br />very difficult papers coming my way...<br />i might not sleep today..<br />but yeah...<br />its something that needed to be done...<br /><br />i told someone earlier today that our body usually can withstand 3 days without sufficient sleep...<br />i guess i'm gonna test my own theory again this week.. hehe<br /><br />and there's something i want to scream off my chest...<br /><br />AM I INVISIBLE?!!! AM I REACHING YOU?!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-6069761387693290903?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-42516022296311356972010-12-16T00:29:00.002+08:002010-12-16T00:43:05.613+08:00last night..<br /><br />i was awaken by my sis' call..<br /><br />it was 2am in saudi arabia...<br />and 7am in singapore...<br /><br />she called..<br />sounded a little bit shaken..<br />and told me of her worries about my father...<br />who she said has been sick for quite awhile..<br />she told me that she brought him to the hospital the day before..<br />and the doctor told him to stay there for the night..<br />but he refused...<br /><br />so he went back home..<br />but he still keeps on complaining about the pain in his stomach...<br />and when my sis checked on him, he was lying around at home..<br /><br />as soon as i heard this,,<br />i couldn't make myself fall asleep...<br />and yeah..<br />i spent the night up..<br />and i got some test just now...<br />not knowing what to do after reading my notes,<br />i went to the roof, and smoked there.. just staring at the hills and the moon...<br />and it was 14 or 15 degrees out there.. <br /><br />nothing feels right when the heart in constantly worried...<br />not even cigarettes help me relax...<br /><br />so that was how i spent part of my night just now...<br />and when i entered my lecture room, <br />i was relieved to be abled to answer the questions..<br /><br />quite happy..<br />and when i returned home,<br />i went to bed straight away after zohor prayer...<br />and i only woke up close to maghrib...<br /><br />i called my parents when breaking fast,<br />and they said it was only a minor scare..<br />it was some sorta gastric..<br />and the doctor said that the pain was caused by gas in the stomach,<br />because my father seldom eats his breakfast..<br /><br />but yeah...<br />i don't know right...<br />they could be lying...<br />but i don't want to worry too much anymore...<br />i am already stressed up here, <br />and my head hasn't been okay for quite some time..<br />migraine and such...<br /><br />i can only pray to Allah...<br />He is the best place to turn to...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-4251602229631135697?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-24714103795170163182010-12-12T00:06:00.002+08:002010-12-12T00:16:46.092+08:00i have been observing people again...<br /><br />and it's puzzling me how some people can take pride in destroying other people's relationships..<br /><br />while some others have nothing to talk about but thinking that they are so good looking that people keep on chasing their shadows to be with them...<br /><br />and some just try to be funny when they aren't..<br /><br />hahhaa...!<br /><br />well it's a busy month..<br />my exams is near..<br />and i have tons of things to memorize..<br /><br />and i have to revise all lessons...<br />and make sure that i have understood every problems etc..<br /><br />plus there are plenty of researches that were given at the very last minute and we were given little time to complete them..<br />there were 3..<br />i have finished 2 of them and now only 1 left...<br /><br />man...<br />its getting tougher..<br /><br />and ouh..<br />my habit of trying to make people think is making me overthinking things...<br />hahhaha...<br />but it feels good to see people liking what i wrote...<br />because it means my intentions to make us think things together works...<br /><br />but unfortunately.. <br />for at least a month...<br /><br />all i want is think about my exams aite...<br /><br />so see you when i see you laaaaah<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-2471410379517016318?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-89252181880549632832010-11-23T14:52:00.002+08:002010-11-23T15:15:24.820+08:00the gap between this post and the last proves how long i have lived without a handphone and a laptop...<br /><br />hahahaha!!!<br /><br />in between these times, a lot has happened...<br />and frankly speaking, i don't quite remember any of it...<br />all i know is i have a few work that needs to be done,<br />and some rest..<br /><br />the most interesting of the lot is of course my second pilgrimage...<br />alhamdulillah..<br />i managed to complete the manasik...<br />and there's a story here too...<br /><br />when i was in muzdalifah, <br />i nearly found myself dead because of the stampede...<br />u see,<br />i was helping this guy from egypt who was protecting his enraged wife..<br />she was mad because there were too many people and we were walking very slowly and pushing around,<br />endangering her child she was pushing on a pram..<br />her husband told her to remain patient because we are doing haj and there is nothing anyone can do when they find themselves trapped in a sea of millions of people in a small road...<br />but of course, women are hard to talk some senses to so she continued with her rage and pushing everybody away...<br /><br />so what her husband and i did was pushing everybody who pushed us towards her and the child away from us...<br />seems like everybody walking close or around her was doing the same...<br />i guess its male instinct to protect female huh... hahahah<br /><br />but then came a group of very strong africans who walked without any care for anybody and pushed everybody away...<br />their physiques sure are intimidating...<br />and i'm not exaggerating when i say they are very strong people whether they have a well built body, skinny, of just plain fat...<br />so what happened was,<br />as they pushed me,<br />i lost my balance,<br />and i nearly fell my left shoulder first..<br /><br />as i was falling i looked to my right reaching my hand out to a Hidayat, a friend who was walking to my right...<br />but a man behind me thought i was trying to make mobility more difficult and was shouting: "where are you going?!!"<br /><br />i shouted back at him: "I AM FALLING!!!"<br /><br />that was when Hidayat realized the trouble i was in and he quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me...<br />i am really indebted to him...<br /><br />because if he hadn't pull my hand that night, i wouldn't be here blogging...<br /><br />but pilgrimage is really something that young people should do if they have money..<br />because only in our youth do we have the strength to endure the difficulties faced during haj...<br /><br />all in all...<br /><br />alhamdulillah... eventhough i was jaded...<br /><br />i feel much at peace now...<br /><br />and i feel like Allah is helping me find my feet again...<br /><br />alhamdulillah... <br /><br />please oo Allah.. help me and make me stop thinking of things that only burdens my heart... because i wanted to be where i am now in the first place no matter what.. so i know it's only fair for You to test my resolve... i don't want to fail in the tests You put me through ya Allah because You told us You only test us in things that we can bear.. what am i if i fail to deal with things i can bear?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-8925218188054963283?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-964520712450375042010-10-16T13:08:00.002+08:002010-10-16T13:19:33.757+08:00the more i look, the more i realise the reasons as to why it was difficult keeping you.<br /><br />the more i realise this, the more bitterness i feel.<br /><br />bitterness that leads to nowhere..<br /><br />and now its about chasing something of my reach,<br />like out of my league too..<br />its frustrating,<br />but i guess its ok..<br />i kinda lack that desire in me anyway,<br />so failure is definitely an option..<br />and seems like i have fallen behind in this race...<br /><br />and now i am so pissed off by the fact that my alarm clock went silent when i needed it.<br />i mean, come on!<br />but when i tried testing it, the alarm went off..<br />WHAT THE HELL!<br />EVEN THE CLOCK IS AGAINST ME GOING TO CLASSES NOW?!<br />hahahhaa<br /><br />but its ok..<br />everything is always ok at the end of the day...<br />well..<br />bad days come to pass and they will end eventually..<br />there will be more bad days in the future,<br />but hey, <br />this is life right?<br />hehe..<br /><br />guess i am more careless nowadays huh?<br />guess its true when someone told me i've changed..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-96452071245037504?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-55044085484763317532010-10-04T20:47:00.002+08:002010-10-04T21:08:56.882+08:00alhamdulillah..<br />i have been in medina for the past two weeks..<br />everything is fine here..<br />and its blazing hot...<br />but what upsets me the most is that i haven't go to mecca since arriving here..<br />my health and awkward circumstances, predicament and situations since arriving prevented me from visiting mecca and the holy mosque..<br />but the right time and opportunity will come insya allah..<br />and i can't wait to be there again among millions of muslims from all over the world...<br /><br />what i meant is i fell sick as soon as i arrived..<br />and i lost my saudi atm card..<br />and to make matters worse, <br />my handphone broke down..<br /><br />so it was like tests after tests being here in this holy land..<br />subhanallah...<br />and it just makes me think of my wrongdoings for the past year...<br />i hope Allah will help me in my quest of not repeating all those mistakes..<br /><br />i went through some videos of quran recitations and i have been wondering about what will happen to me..<br /><br />its not a laughing matter thinking about how every parts of my body will testify in front of God,<br />i no longer think about the useless matters walhamdulillah..<br />everything that has happened, that kept me down are mostly insignificant and trivial matters..<br />i should have cried and down for the things that i have done instead...<br />what will happen when death comes to me?<br />what will happen when i meet my maker..?<br /><br />so being a better man,<br />a better individual,<br />a better muslim,<br /><br />these are the goals in life that i should focus on...<br /><br />being where i am is the best platform to try and achieve it...<br /><br />i want to make sure that eventhough people see me as a failure and a loser,<br />but the truth is i win and they are the ones who lose...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-5504408548476331753?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-30675638498769427332010-09-20T16:35:00.003+08:002010-09-20T16:42:39.878+08:00one more thing i forgot to mention here... <br />another old friend of mine is now married...<br />mahmood bin hashim...<br /><br />barakallahu lakuma wa baraka alaikuma wajama'a bainakuma fi khair...<br /><br />eventhough it has been a very long time since i last saw u...<br />and i don't even know if i mistreated u or anything that resulted in this,<br />i still hope that one day we can come together and talk again like old times...<br /><br />so from those times,<br />mahmood, amy, rusydi and myself...<br />mahmood and amy is now married...<br />rusydi has been missing too...<br /><br />well... <br />like i said time and time again....<br /><br />i only watch from afar...<br />has always been the case anyway...<br /><br />see you all again!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-3067563849876942733?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-89501320297544825562010-09-20T16:18:00.002+08:002010-09-20T16:22:52.494+08:00the time has come again...<br />another round of goodbyes...<br />this is definitely the hardest thing to do and im so not good at it...<br />but its ok<br />this has very good reasons...<br />and i just need to face this head on like i always do...<br />and smile all the way again<br /><br />goodbye family..<br />goodbye friends..<br />goodbye singapore..<br />goodbye love...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-8950132029754482556?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-64360112761151216412010-09-09T22:11:00.002+08:002010-09-09T22:18:40.120+08:00taqabbalallahu minna wa minkum...<br />moga Allah menerima semua amalan kita...<br />selamat berhari raya kepada semua...<br />macam biasa..<br />bila raya aku akan berpantun...hehe.. enjoy!<br /><br />bulan syawal bertamu lagi,<br />kaum muslimin semua bergembira;<br />10 jari kususun rapi,<br />ampun dan maaf ikhlas dipinta.<br /><br />ajarlah anak kitab iqra',<br />agar Quran lancar di lidah;<br />di dalam kita bergembira,<br />jangan lupa pada yang susah.<br /><br />huruf arab alif, ba dan ta,<br />harus kenal baru boleh ngaji;<br />ramadhan pergi tinggalkan kita,<br />dapatkah kita bertemu lagi?<br /><br />alright eh?<br /><br />aku ada siapkan pantun untuk orang yang taknak maafkan salah silap aku gak...<br />nak baca?<br />kau taknak pun aku tulis gak.. blog aku aku peh suka la!<br />nah baca...<br /><br />buat kuih perlu mentega,<br />tak pasti halnya dengan baulu;<br />kalau lu tak maafkan juga,<br />pegi mampos la wa cakap lu!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-6436011276115121641?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-89993309574231769842010-09-03T21:31:00.002+08:002010-09-03T21:53:14.182+08:00when you fail...<br />feels like the whole world came crashing down on you...<br />you feel so useless...<br />feels like all the efforts you put in are futile...<br />just a waste of time...<br />the main thing is....<br />the feeling of failure sucks big time....<br /><br />but you have to know...<br />we live in a world where failure is bound to happen...<br />you can't run from it...<br />life is all about trials....<br />we might succeed in some of them....<br />and we might fail too...<br />the point here is...<br />we must take failures as part of our lives...<br />something that happens to everybody and not only us....<br /><br />how we get up from setbacks is another thing...<br />basically i have seen 2 ways in which people react to failures...<br />1 is to keep lying down after being knocked down and pinned...<br />2 is to take it as a kick to the teeth and start working your ass off...<br /><br />as we all know, with failures come criticisms...<br />so you see...its not good to say that you are just plain stupid and slow as the reason behind your failure...<br />when this is said after failing..then you will forever be the plain stupid idiot and slow forever....<br />just because you are criticized, you tell people that you are stupid....<br /><br />what you should do is to take everything in your stride...<br />you should learn to listen what is important and throw everything else that is not...<br />you should pick yourself up and let that criticisms spur you on and motivates you...<br />channel that anger to something positive....<br />one of the things i like in people is to prove others wrong and exceed their expectations...<br />you should train yourself to focus on what's at hand and put everything else aside...<br />everybody is pressurized by something..so you have to learn not to think too much about the pressures...<br />as long as you are focused...<br />you will do well....<br /><br />in the end nobody can help you...<br />only you can pick yourself up...<br />no matter what people say to you....<br />it's you who choose to either get up and fight or surrender when you are just starting your journey....<br /><br />so come on and wake up...<br />success and failure...<br />your choice....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-8999330957423176984?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-21319620422697454292010-09-02T17:00:00.002+08:002010-09-02T17:22:00.145+08:00what did i really lose that day?<br />for the life of me, i can't remember<br />we slowly lost sight of each other in the twilight.....<br />and yet we are stuck here - unable to go home<br /><br />weak, frail souls lost in the world...<br />we act strong to hide their fragility..<br />hide their fragility...<br /><br />so farewell... but even forced apart...<br />our stories go on...<br />even in a world without you, i run..<br />to someday get past the pain...<br />someday....<br /><br />i love the translation of this japanese song....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-2131962042269745429?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-12635675755064383692010-08-27T00:14:00.002+08:002010-08-27T00:27:55.099+08:00at the moment i don't know what to think...<br />i think sometimes there's no value in the relationships we have with others...<br />sometimes i think that everything is just lies...<br />i feel like there's nothing i see in this life except lies...<br />hahahaha<br /><br />kk<br />there's less than a month left before i leave again...<br />well i don't know...<br />but to live like this is boring...<br />because it's like i'm living between two worlds...<br />like i don't really belong anywhere...<br /><br />today i have iftar with asatizahs...<br />i don't know what to wear...<br />but it's always interesting to meet people who already succeeded doing what i'm doing right now and completing their studies...<br />sometimes i get renewed energy and willingness...<br />renewed motivation just by listening to them...<br />so i guess i will try not to miss this chance...<br />after all.. i need this...<br /><br />alright i'm just being plain boring right now...<br />but hey...<br />who told u to read? hahahaha<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-1263567575506438369?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-73391503572289351732010-08-15T14:44:00.002+08:002010-08-15T14:49:30.315+08:00not involved...<br />plain lazy...<br />uninterested...<br />boring...<br />lack in sense of humor...<br /><br />not a very good combination of attributes right?<br /><br />i don't know..<br />no replies nor answers...<br />this is why its better to just watch from a safe distance...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-7339150357228935173?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-26034288792598555882010-08-10T01:39:00.002+08:002010-08-10T01:48:48.268+08:00the names of those accepted to study in Islamic University of Medina:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">JAFNI BIN RAHMAN جفني بن رحمن<br />RAZIFF SHIDIQ BIN ABDULLAH رزيق صديق بن عبد الله<br />abdul alif bin ahmad sanosi عبد الأليف بن أحمد سنوسي<br />MAHFUZ AL-HAFIZ BIN ABDUL RAHMAN محفوظ الحافظ بن عبد الرحمن<br />MUHAMMAD IQBAL BAKRI محمد إقبال عبدالحليم بكري<br />MUHAMMAD AMIN BIN SAMSUDIN محمد أمين بن شمس الدين<br />Muhammad Hussein bin Abdul Rahman محمد حسين بن عبد الرحمن</span><br /><br />congratulations to all mentioned above...<br />alf mabruk wa ahlan bikum jami'an...<br /><br />for all i know...<br />im holding back my tears now...<br />for 3 very painful reasons...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">1) for my friends who weren't accepted... i understand their pain that it hurts me so much...<br /><br />2) i was reminded of how fortunate i am to be accepted so quickly... everything i lost seems like a fair payment now for not being grateful.. i kept on blaming fate...<br /><br />3) one of the losses is never ever going to come back.. and its very certain now...</span><br /><br />so tonight... i'll cry again...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-2603428879259855588?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-89515412219325703162010-08-08T17:55:00.002+08:002010-08-08T18:00:53.616+08:00yesterday...<br />i covered for someone teaching 2 classes in a mosque...<br />coming unprepared, i bored the whole damn people in my class...<br />i saw how only those who really wanted it will always focus...<br />now i know how teachers judged students, how they know who is not interested and who does, how they also have this unique feeling of pain not knowing how to reach out to students who are just not interested...<br />i felt it yesterday....<br />and i don't like it one bit...<br /><br />and today...as everybody else enjoying their time, enjoying their weekends,<br />i'm here smoking my cigarette at home, blogging, watching tv...<br /><br />its just the same old feeling...<br />same old routines...<br /><br />seems like all is wasted<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-8951541221932570316?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-65151750166575053072010-08-05T00:11:00.002+08:002010-08-05T00:45:54.532+08:00i don't know why...or how...<br />but with every passing moment, i just get more and more tired...<br />lethargic...<br />pessimistic...<br />i'm just letting things go...<br />too many things have gone...<br />and i'm not sure if i'll get even a fraction back...<br /><br />i just... don't know...<br />even when writing this, trying to find the reasons...<br />trying to do a bit of soul-searching...<br />i just can't directly pinpoint my own problem...<br />probably because i'm not really doing my obligations...<br />and even when i do... my heart is not really into it...<br />i just hate this feeling of emptiness...<br /><br />or maybe i have my batteries all dried up...<br />and i couldn't find the place for me to come back and recharge them...<br />come to think of it... yes...<br />this may be true..<br />it's mostly down to the fact that i'm alone....<br />i feel too lonely...<br />i feel a huge void in me... a huge void in my heart...<br />this loneliness is also a reason in me feeling really empty...<br /><br />now let's think of a solution...<br />maybe i should buck up...<br />more consistent and more determined to do my obligations as a muslim, as a student in religious knowledge...<br />only when i do this will i feel peace...<br />only when i do this, will i stop feeling empty inside...<br /><br />as for my batteries drying up...<br />i have nothing to say...<br />there is no cure for this stupid kind of emptiness i feel...<br />there's nobody who can help me in this...<br /><br />but maybe i'm saying this because everytime i try to find a place for me to charge my dried batteries, i end up looking for someone who can't be that person...<br />and when i think again...<br />my expectations and ideals, they made me impossible to be loved...<br />yes... i admit this...<br />and why do i have these ideas?<br />it's simply because i spent 9 months of my life every year away...<br />far away....<br />i can't be here always...<br />and not many people can understand this pain and sacrifice i have to go through...<br />and there's not many people who can wait for one such as i...<br />and it's the biggest hindrance for me...<br />the reason why i want someone to wait for me.. but i just can't make them wait...<br />everyday i just pray that things will go well for me at the end of the road like everyone says it will...<br />but im just so sad...<br />i really need a place for me to recharge my batteries...<br /><br />but like i said its near impossible....<br />but if i do my obligations as a muslim...<br />then maybe....<br />at least....<br />half of the emptiness is filled...<br /><br />Allahumma a'inna 'ala zikrika wasyukrika wahusni 'ibadatika...<br /><br />i feel so weak ya Allah...<br />i'm just scared... afraid...<br />i'm so sad...<br />i'm mad...<br />i'm frustrated with myself...<br />i'm frustrated just being me...<br />i guess the person i hate most is noone else.... <br /><br /><br />BUT ME<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-6515175016657505307?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-51839741360775443342010-08-01T22:41:00.003+08:002010-08-01T22:55:38.781+08:00hmmm<br />i am thinking of writing a letter to myself...<br />i've been reading about ways to let go of negative feelings and one of the ways stated in the book is to write about them...<br />it will take practice..so the book says...<br />so i wana try it out....from now... so that later on i can be a better person...<br /><br />so yesterday played football in a football pitch for the first time after 3-4 years....<br />yes... the last time i stood on a football field was during my final pre-university year in wak tanjong when we played Temasek JC.. we were treated to an embarressing thrashing that day..if i remembered correctly, we lost 7-0...<br />and i felt like an idiot and was so ashamed to the people who came to watch us from school that day....<br /><br />but yesterday was a different story...<br />we played against a team consisting of polytechnic students and we won 4-2...<br />the scoreline could have been 8-3 if not for 3 efforts from our players hitting the post and one more were cleared off the line thanks to the puddle of mud at the front of their goal, and they had a goal disallowed for offside...<br /><br />i made a mistake leading to their first goal when i misjudged a high ball... i was trying to play the offside trap and it backfired... hahaha<br /><br />but the second goal they scored was crazy...<br />that guy outran me and musa and mind u, i may no longer have the endurance when running but im not a slow runner.. and musa is way faster than me... and he outran us both... so yeah... <br /><br />then i told my partner in the centre of defence to play our usual way when he will be the sweeper and i play as a defender just in front of him...and it worked...they couldn't find a way to break through us for the remainder of the game but i think it was probably down to their fatigue anyway... hahaha<br /><br />and today... i thought of going out but then i decided against it because i have noone to go out with... HAHAHA<br /><br />but tomorrow maybe... but alone again as usual...<br /><br />i'll just repair my specs... and go straight home after that...<br /><br />yes... such a boring life...<br /><br />but this is me....<br /><br />final words:<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />BYE! hahaha<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-5183974136077544334?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-25177976114812512742010-07-27T00:53:00.000+08:002010-07-27T00:54:13.350+08:00prepare to go Ubin...<br /><br />argh.... i don't even know what's bothering me today<br /><br />hahaha<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-2517797611481251274?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-56396745414532995492010-07-24T14:39:00.002+08:002010-07-24T14:45:43.980+08:00when will i really mean the saying that goes like this:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"></span>"If you truly believe in God, any obstacles put in front of you is just an illusion.."<span style="font-weight:bold;"></span><br /><br />when will i truly believe in my heart these words:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"></span>"حسبنا الله ونعم الوكيل"<span style="font-weight:bold;"></span><br /><br />which means: God is enough for us and our problems are best left to Him....<br /><br />because everything is like a burden... but i know they are just tests....<br /><br />Allah.. please help us...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-5639674541453299549?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-30569507356652185162010-07-19T22:02:00.003+08:002010-07-20T01:09:31.182+08:00i am wondering about the reason why the more we want something, the more difficult it is to obtain it...<br /><br />sometimes i feel like i'm chasing shadows...<br /><br />sometimes i feel unnoticed...<br /><br />i feel not needed at all... its terrible, i can feel myself dying slowly like this...<br /><br />but then i come across a verse in the quran...<br /><br />"Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested?" -Qur’an, 29:2<br /><br />i don't know...<br /><br />but i feel so restless.. so lonely...<br /><br />so empty....<br /><br />and now.. in a few hours time..<br />im meeting an old friend..<br />probably hanging out with her for the last time...<br /><br />hey wait... is this going to be my 2nd goodbye in 3 days?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-3056950735665218516?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-40768788150130872742010-07-17T21:36:00.003+08:002010-07-17T21:46:52.308+08:00it has been quite eventful...<br />but hey, now my best friend will not be around for over a month...<br />its ok i guess....<br />i've been lonely..always...<br />yea... i feel like a lone ranger.. hahahaha<br /><br />and lately i have been wishing for a meeting..<br />just one last meeting to apologize and say a proper farewell...<br />but then a friend told me something...<br />she told him that she refuses to be anywhere with me around...<br />so i decided to disappear just like that without apologizing and giving her a final goodbye...<br />but i can't...<br />i still feel, and want to see her and apologize before saying goodbye...<br />but well..<br />the door is closed....<br />so this chapter, though i can't do what i want to do, should be closed to...<br /><br />the lonely days just get lonelier...<br />in the end...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-4076878815013087274?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-70798855842222202282010-07-04T20:48:00.002+08:002010-07-04T20:51:08.328+08:00alhamdulillah...<br />exam result okay..<br />sume passed..<br />tapi ada 3 subjects aku just barely passing them...<br />n subject2 tu mmg susa la pada aku...<br />n 2 out of 3 tu aku sbnanye da resigned to failing them...<br />but alhamdulillah...<br />aku passed....<br /><br />tadi kompang...<br />pastu lepak je mcm biasa dgn amy....<br />then die gi amek bini die dari keje, aku plak balik rumah...<br />baru sampai ni skali tgk rumah tkde org la plak... <br />hahaha...<br />mcm kesian la gak kn tp tk juga la...<br /><br />one things's for sure...<br />i must up the tempo....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-7079885584222220228?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-48105456667132618382010-06-26T16:19:00.002+08:002010-06-26T16:31:34.917+08:00i feel glad to be back in singapore...<br />met some o;d friends at the airport just now...<br />thanks so much for being there....<br /><br />i feel so happy looking at my results so far.. i passed the 2 papers i know i would fail...i told u i know my capabilities more than anyone else... and i know very well when i messed up and couldn't answer...<br /><br />i don't want to admit this... but i went to my aunt's place just now and have to take the all too familiar road.. i was reminded yet again that i really miss a certain someone... i don't want to admit it but i still love...<br /><br />sometimes i think which is better... to stay away and live alone with nobody to care for or people caring for me.. or to come back into my family's arms and be reminded of the pain...<br /><br />the love i feel is useless<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-4810545666713261838?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-60396444465164627122010-06-01T03:14:00.002+08:002010-06-01T03:23:08.266+08:00so it's confirmed...<br />i am expected to return home, to reach Singapore on the 26th of June...<br />expected arrival time is 12+ noon...<br /><br />but before i can think about returning...<br />i have to worry about the exams...<br />my marks are so low in the tests i have taken and its gonna take a miracle for me to pass most of the subjects....<br /><br />it has been some kinda shock...<br />i just wish that this semester will come to pass and hope that i am better prepared and well equipped for the next semester...<br />even if i have to repeat most of the subjects i am taking now....<br /><br />i know my capabilities better than anyone else...<br />now is the time to focus...<br />throw everything else out of the window...<br /><br />hehe... gonna show u what im capable of u damned idiot!<br /><br />by the way... i'm asking myself...<br />why is it always the troublesome ones?<br /><br />damn<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-6039644446516462712?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-28008168082932612362010-05-28T18:28:00.003+08:002010-05-28T22:28:22.102+08:00pada hari yang berbahagia ini, satu tragedi telah menimpa..<br />seorang rakan bernama wafi telah terkunci dari dalam biliknya...<br />kesian dari pagi tak dapat keluar bilik kerana pintu yang rosak...<br />kita akan cuba untuk membantu sedaya mungkin...<br />musyrif pula hanya akan bantu pada waktu asar..<br />jadi diharapkan wafi bersabar di dalam..<br />kalau terasa nak buang air pandai-pandailah menahannya k...<br />nasib baik la biliknya itu ada juga makanan dan air...<br />kalau tak... mati kekeringan la... <br />baik2 aku yg selalu dikatakan mati kekeringan last2 org lain pula..<br />hahahhaa<br /><br />satu lagi tragedi ialah aku telah terlanjur ketika marah sangat..<br />memang salah... aku memang salah dalam kata-kata aku...<br />tapi... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....<br />aku yang bertanggungjawab atas keadaan diri kau sekarang,<br />yang tiada kesetiaan...?<br />lepas ini apa?<br />kau adakan hubungan seks luar nikah dengan entah lelaki mana pun aku yang bertanggungjawab?<br />memang maknanya kau BERBUAL KONTOL...<br />kekarutan yang teramat... <br />WAHAI YANG MAHA QAHROOT la bak trademark gurauan aku...<br /><br />part mana yang aku salah dalam hal keluar negeri untuk belajar sampai kau pun duga aku dengan adanya laki lain? contact2... cerita2... keluar sama2... <br />jadi ini adalah satu kemusykilan... <br />kau uji aku dan sekarang aku yang salah?<br />sedangkan kau buat aku rasa aku tak mampu lagi untuk bahagiakan kau dan jaga hati kau?<br />ya.. memang aku cuba untuk kembali...<br />kenapa aku yang tak pernah kuasa untuk ada friendster ke apa binatang haram jadah ni semua membuat account facebook dan meminta kau untuk turut sama?<br />kerana aku mahu "bridge the gap"..<br />and this is the easiest way for me to do so and tell u what im up to anywhere i am since i didn't have an internet connection in my room and had to use the phone to go online...<br />and everytime i went online back then, it was already way in the wee hours in the morning in singapore...<br />n u refused right?<br />then i discovered u when it was way too late...<br />so im still to blame for u closing the door for me? so what now?<br /><br />bodoh betul...<br />tak ada satu benda pun yang aku putarkan di sini..<br />malah orang yang kata aku tipu dahulu pun,<br />kalau dia teliti apa yang aku kata dan tengok sendiri perbuatan kau sekarang,<br />dia tak perlu jadi seorang genius untuk buat penilaian...<br />siapa yang selama ini berbual kontol dengan siapa yang bodoh pergi ceritakan semua fakta dalam blog dia...<br /><br />dua2 bodoh!<br /><br />aku keluar negeri untuk belajar maknanya aku mementingkan diri sendiri?<br />come on...<br />ini kenyataan paling bodoh orang pernah keluarkan<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-2800816808293261236?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-842944517638901242010-05-26T16:37:00.002+08:002010-05-26T16:48:17.430+08:00so it is now official...<br /><br />I AM UNDER PRESSURE!<br />and its all from me.. noone else...<br />i want to be the best!<br />but its putting myself under too much pressure...<br /><br />when i memorized the Quran well, but forget everything the moment i enter the lecture room...<br />then its very clear i am crumbling...<br />i need to relax... <br />but i don't know why i can't...<br /><br />i know its going to be impossible for me to match my predecessors achievements but i still want to match them...<br /><br />BECAUSE I AM ARROGANT!<br />and i don't plan to change my ways when it comes to studies...<br />I WILL CONTINUE TO BE ARROGANT, FOR THIS ARROGANCE IS WHAT HELPED ME COMPETE ALL THESE YEARS!<br /><br />time to see if i can handle this...<br />because if i come out of this with a decent enough result..<br />then i will praise Allah for his blessings and say "THIS IS MY BIGGEST TEST SO FAR AND I MANAGED TO SUCCEED"<br /><br />time to face the pressure and prove myself again...<br />show them i am who i am...<br />thrive under pressure... that's what i want to prove...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-84294451763890124?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-91962616289681592992010-05-23T05:10:00.002+08:002010-05-23T05:18:45.069+08:00aku betul2 marah...<br />kalau aku boleh bunuh dgn kata2, hancurkan hati kau dan buat kau rasa benci dgn diri kau hanya dgn kata2 akan aku lepaskan semua yg ada dlm hati aku pada kau..<br />kemudian lihat... asalkan kau merubah cara kau...<br />tapi memang nampaknya kau bukan tak rasa apa2 tapi kau taknak rasa apa2...<br />memang jenis yg hanya pentingkan diri sendiri tanpa pernah berfikir tentang org lain..<br />aku kesiankn kau... dan aku kesiankn siapa2 saja yg turut terbuang begitu saja...<br /><br />aku bukan nak kurang ajar, tapi apalah salah mak bapak kau sampai manusia macam kau pun boleh wujud?<br />langsung tak ada perasaan...<br /><br />aku kalau terus2an mcm ni, tkkn lama agaknya aku kena sakit jantung...<br />hahaha...<br />teros mampos...<br />dah tak payah fikirkan pasal org lain smpi sakitkan hati sendiri..<br /><br />hey aku betul punya heran la..!<br /><br />macam tak ada benda je...<br /><br />yg penting, memang sial cara korang... betol betol punya sial...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-9196261628968159299?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-24514776161295710902010-05-21T14:26:00.002+08:002010-05-21T14:33:06.176+08:00some part of me is so glad that we are so close to returning to spore...<br />but some part of me kinda dread it..<br />why?<br />coz i feel it will still be the same...<br />its not like i have a lot of things to do back home...<br />and its not like i have a lot of people to meet up..<br />hahaahahaha...<br />what a boring story this really is....<br /><br />one more thing i notice is...<br />some people love those who come to their lives with no regards to any sort of boundaries...<br />ok la..<br />maybe these people don't even set any boundaries....<br />that's why it's so easy...<br /><br />but hey...<br />i don't know...<br />but i bet within 6 months,<br />things will be different again...<br />hahahahaha....<br /><br />coz that is the kind of person i know...<br /><br />so now what do u think?<br />have i been lying to u all these times?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-2451477616129571090?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-84894221072430667922010-05-15T20:55:00.002+08:002010-05-15T21:37:09.551+08:00that day... few days ago... or was it weeks ago?<br />i lost track of time... i am certain that its was just recently but trust me.. it really felt like so long ago...<br />but no matter...<br />what happened was this....<br /><br />i left my laptop at my friend's room...<br />so i didn't turn my laptop on and sit in front of it like i usually do... why?<br />because i needed to study... so i didn't mind leaving it somewhere else...<br /><br />but that day... as i was sitting alone in my room resting, tired after a long day in the lecture room... my mind played again...<br /><br />i started to remember u, very clearly... u appeared in my head...<br />i was rreminded of the moments i spent that had u in it...<br />right from the very beginning, when i first got to know u in 2003.. eventhough we were schoolmates since 97... but i got to know u only then...<br /><br />back then, i never thought of anything, i don't even think that u were special or anything... in fact... i hated u...<br /><br />then time went by and the memory went to how that ended, and suddenly u talked to me...<br />and suddenly i began to have an affection for u, maybe i was trying to help...<br />i was just trying to stretch my hand out and offer it to u, so i could pick u up from ur lowest point, make u stand up again, n grab my hand n we walk together, but i went too deep... eventually it turned into something i can't control...<br /><br />the memory lane took me to how i started it, and then all the things u did for me, n everything that i did for u... the sweet memory which lasted for another year or so... until i took my A levels, started working, and was accepted to study in a university overseas...<br /><br />every reasons that distanced us came into my head... i noticed our shortcomings...<br /><br />then i left...<br /><br />then i got mad and ended the whole thing...<br /><br />then what i did after that... when i was trying... but then condemned u...<br /><br />then i stopped walking down that memory lane n i realised that im here.. in Saudi Arabia still, in Medina... this time, there were no tears... but some fire in me burning instead...<br /><br />if by deleting myself can help u now and make things easier even by just 0.000001%,<br /><br />i'll do it...<br /><br />im not burying myself in a grave that you have dug for me long ago, but saw me refusing to be buried there until now... no....<br /><br />instead... im just walking away... i don't want to walk in the memory lane again...<br />i don't wanna miss u again... i don't wanna be a burden for u, the ones around u or anyone else...<br /><br />i hope that there will be no question marks, wondering where have i gone to...<br /><br />i don't know if u even noticed... i think u didn't...<br /><br />but i still love u... and i don't know how to run away from this...<br />i dont wanna feel this way.. i don't wanna miss u...<br />when i thought i am okay, thats when i will really cry...<br /><br />the days seem longer, much slower now... now that i am trying to walk away...<br /><br />it's still so hard for me...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-8489422107243066792?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-64609484348971768152010-05-03T22:38:00.002+08:002010-05-03T22:47:46.497+08:00i havent sleep for two nights straight....<br />i feel really weak right now but what the hell....<br />this is the price to pay for always delaying....<br /><br />so lately... i have been trying something...<br />but i got this feeling that i won't get what i want and chase for at the moment....<br />and i made up one good lie so someone don't have to feel guilty,<br />when actually nothing really is happening...<br />for i am still me...<br /><br />haha....<br /><br />but i realised too...<br />i mean.. i realised... <br />that wasn't worth my concern...<br /><br />people who never change... <br />people whose presence only test our patience, our resolves in repayment to our honesty and sincerity are not worth it...<br /><br />their absence is much better than their presence....<br /><br />yes<br />with their presence we can feel the earth sinking beneath us, they are heavy, always making our hearts worry...<br />these people are not worth it.......<br /><br />yes... i finally realise....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-6460948434897176815?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-36751952462351876812010-04-30T00:02:00.002+08:002010-04-30T00:07:07.715+08:00kadang2 ku fikir...<br />apa yg istimewa sgt...<br />knape jiwa tk tenang...<br /><br />aku sedar... kurang bersyukur...<br />kurang ingat Allah yg beri semua benda pada kita...<br />sbb itu tk tenang...<br /><br />susahnye aku nk igt Tuhan...<br /><br />lagi satu...<br />jgn jd bodo psl org lain...<br />sume bende ada limit nye...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-3675195246235187681?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-29682249538626781262010-04-20T02:32:00.003+08:002010-04-20T02:42:05.536+08:00exams and tests are coming....<br />life in islamic university is getting too tough for me....<br />my lazy nature is goning to hurt me....<br />i'm worried<br />but i'm still too lazy....<br />do i think i'm invincible?<br />as in, i don't have to work my ass off and success will still follow?<br /><br />Ya Allah... help me... save me... <br />help me fight my arrogance...<br /><br />life..<br />as usual...<br />had a superb dinner with the guys...<br />bbq...<br />these kinda moments are what make life bearable here......<br /><br />i'm not good at showing people how much i care and love them.....<br />but the least i can do is say...<br /><br />i love my friends here... <br />of course i love my family too.. haha<br /><br />that day during the meeting....<br />a friend said something very good...<br />he said: whatever it is, whatever u see in us, in everything that happens, every one of us has their own past and stories......<br /><br />it was something...<br />the first time i have seen some of them cry.....<br /><br />everybody has pain... experience them.....<br /><br />but its a problem when u think your pain is much worse than others'...<br /><br />once u think this way.... u become a selfish jerk...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-2968224953862678126?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-88311863583714559842010-04-12T20:06:00.002+08:002010-04-12T20:20:31.401+08:00hidup ini memang tempat ujian....<br />jangan terlalu bersedih dengan ujian....<br /><br />orang yg terus bersabar dan berusaha...<br />dan tidak berburuk sangka pada Allah dan berdoa padaNya...<br />dan terus menjaga kewajibannya pada Allah....<br />akan tiba satu masa dia beroleh ganjaran dari Allah...<br />dan setiap kesusahan itu mesti akan diikuti dengan sesuatu yang menggembirakan jiwa...<br /><br />hehehe<br /><br />okay....<br />exam da dekat...<br />maknenye waktu utk balik spore pon da dekat...<br />tapi ape yg ada kat spore tu....?<br />selain rehat dan jumpe family dan kawan2...<br /><br />kadang2 rasa the purpose of living for me is solely here at the moment...<br />and it will remain this way until graduation...<br /><br />alhamdulillah....<br />awan hitam dah tkde lagi....<br />dah belajar utk tk risau pasal bende yg ntah akan jadi ke tak...<br /><br />more focused....<br />happier....<br />its much easier when everything useless is kicked out... right?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-8831186358371455984?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-90891272972533060522010-04-06T21:56:00.003+08:002010-04-06T22:14:00.782+08:00i don't know why i have always failed...<br />but talking to u<br />i realised that i have failed all along...<br /><br />eventhough i told u what i told u that day...<br />the fact still remains...<br />i'm hopeless....<br /><br />n now tests are coming....<br />all these thoughts will have to be put to rest...<br />but im glad in a way... <br />because i told u whats in my heart before putting everything to bed...<br /><br />so now looking at the number of books i have to buy...<br />i have to say one thing...<br /><br />"WHERE THE HECK IS THE CASH FOR ME TO BUY ALL THESE?!"<br /><br />ummi...<br />nampaknye duit dlm account abang tu abang pakai dulu la yer... <br />balik nnti pandai2 la abg cari keje... masokkn balik mana yg dah terkeluar tu nnti...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-9089127297253306052?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-15135584015533214672010-04-02T19:50:00.002+08:002010-04-02T20:07:59.170+08:00okay... i want to tell something... what i think....<br /><br />i am a guy who puts honesty and loyalty at the very top of the list of qualities i admire and love...<br />these are the qualities that i think are important...<br />i want to be with people who have these qualities...<br /><br />so what i want to say is...<br />if you want to disappoint me, then the easiest way is to betray and lie to me...<br />when u do so, u will see how disappointed i'd be, u will see me in my most irrational mental state....<br /><br />so if u plan to lie and betray me but u don't wana disappoint me, then plan it carefully, and make sure i never find out about it... ok?<br /><br />i guess i am someone who don't like to see his trust for anybody shattered and washed out on the drain..<br /><br />and the ironic thing is, i just realised this in me...<br /><br />i just realised that i can't forgive people who misused my trust, lied and made me look like a fool...<br /><br />i simply can't...<br /><br />and i don't plan to change this...<br /><br />you know who you are.. you who pissed me off...<br /><br />but you are lucky... i always remember the kindness everybody ever given me...<br /><br />that is the only reason why i cherish everybody... even those who had disappointed me before... be it betrayal, or lies...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-1513558401553321467?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-54802346834746208632010-04-02T00:59:00.000+08:002010-04-02T01:03:57.690+08:00saya tahu saya terlewat... tapi saya ingin mengongsi artikel ini...<br /><br />Sumber: Qaradhawi.net (18.3.2007)<br /><br />Syeikh Al-‘Allaamah Dr Yusuf Qaradhawi, Ketua Persatuan Cendekiawan Islam Antarabangsa, pernah menerima soalan yang berbunyi:<br /><br />Saya menerima panggilan dari seorang teman yang memberitahu saya suatu perkhabaran yang membuat saya rasa sedih dan runsing. Pada masa itu ahli keluarga dan anak-anak saya terlihat raut wajah saya yang penuh kerisauan. Lalu saya pun menceritakan perkhabaran yang merunsingkan itu. Tidak lama kemudian, teman yang sama itu menelefon sekali lagi dan memberitahu saya bahawa berita itu tidak berdasar. Ternyata ia hanyalah suatu rekaan semata, dan hanyalah suatu pembohongan..atau April Fool. Saya berkata kepadanya: ini sama sekali tidak dibenarkan dalam Islam, tapi dia berkata: Aku hanya bergurau dan bercanda sepertimana kebiasaan orang-orang lain apabila tiba hari tersebut.<br /><br />Apakah pandangan anda tentang hal ini, yang mana orang Muslim mengikuti tradisi semacam itu? Berita yang memainkan perasaan orang, yang ternyata ianya tidak benar dengan tujuan untuk bercanda? Adakah tindakan tersebut dibolehkan menurut Islam?<br /><br /><br /><br />Sebagai jawapan, Dr Yusuf Qaradawi berkata:<br /><br /><br />“Dengan nama Allah, segala puji bagi Allah, dan Selawat dan Salam keatas Rasulullah Shollallaahu ‘Alaihi wa Sallaam.<br /><br />Membuat pembohongan adalah suatu yang buruk, dan merupakan suatu dosa yang besar yang membuatkan iman seorang itu lemah. Ia dianggap sebagai salah satu tanda-tanda kemunafikan.<br /><br />Islam tidak membolehkan berbohong kecuali dalam keadaan tertentu yang telah disebutkan dalam fatwa yang lain, dan diantaranya adalah bukanlah berbohong untuk tujuan bergurau atau bercanda.<br /><br />Nabi Shollallaahu ‘Alaihi wa Sallaam telah memberi amaran tentang berbohong untuk mempersendakan seorang: “Celakalah orang yang berbicara untuk membuat orang lain tertawa dengan berdusta, celakalah dia, celakalah dia ..” (Riwayat Abu Dawud dan Nasa’i, dan telah dihasankan oleh at-Tirmidzi)<br /><br />Dalam hadith yang lain: “Tidaklah seseorang itu dipercayai (kata-katanya) sehinggalah dia meninggalkan (sifat) bohong dalam gurauannya, dan perdebatannya, walaupun pada saat dia berkata benar.” (Diriwayatkan oleh Ahmad dan al-Tabaraani.) Juga dari Hadith Muslim dalam bab Harus berhati-hati dari mempersendakan saudaranya yang lain dan mengganggunya, sama ada serius atau bercanda.<br /><br />Abu Dawud meriwayatkan dan sanadnya dari Abu Abdir-Rahman bin Layla berkata: "Para sahabat Muhammad Ridhuaanullahi ‘alaihim pernah menceritakan kepada kami, suatu ketika mereka berjalan dengan Nabi Shollallaahu ‘Alaihi wa Sallaam, maka seorang dari mereka telah mengikat tali yang dibawanya pada seorang yang lain (bergurau), maka tersentak ketakutan orang itu. Kemudian Rasulullah Shollallaahu ‘Alaihi wa Sallam berkata: "Tidak dibenarkan bagi seorang Muslim untuk menakut-nakutkan Muslim yang lain (walaupun bergurau)."<br /><br />Dan Dari Nu’man bin Basheer Radhiallaahu ‘Anhuma telah berkata: Kami telah bersama-sama Rasulullah Shollallaahu ‘Alaihi wa Sallaam dalam safar, maka seorang dari kami rasa mengantuk. Lalu seorang dari kami yang lain mengambil anak panah dari sarungnya dan membangunkan lelaki (pertama tadi dengan menggunakan anak panah itu). Lalu Nabi Shollallaahu ‘Alaihi wa Sallaam bersabda: “Tidak dibenarkan bagi seorang Muslim untuk menakut-nakutkan Muslim yang lain.” (Diriwayatkan oleh at-Tabarani dalam kitabnya ‘al-Kabeer’ dan para perawinya adalah thiqah)<br /><br />Dari Abdullah bin as-Sa’ib bin Yazid, dari bapanya, dari datuknya bahawasanya beliau mendengar Rasulullah Shollallaahu ‘Alaihi wa Sallaam bersabda: “Janganlah seorang dari kamu mengambil barang hak milik saudaranya dengan cara bermain atau serius.”<br />(Riwayat at-Tirmidzi dan ianya hadith hasan ghorib).<br /><br />Nabi Shollallaahu ‘Alaihi wa Sallaam menganggap bahawa salah satu pengkhianatan terbesar bagi seseorang adalah apabila anda berbohong kepada seorang yang lain yang telah mempercayai anda, dengan pendengaran telinga dan hatinya, dan anda berbohong padanya. Baginda bersabda: “Adalah dikira suatu pengkhianatan besar apabila kamu berkata suatu pada saudara kamu sehingga dia mempercayai kamu sedangkan kamu berdusta padanya.” (Diriwayatkan oleh Ahmad dan al-Tabarani dari Nawas bin Sam’an dengan sanad yang baik, seperti yang dikatan oleh Al-Hafiz Al-‘Iraqi, dan diriwayatkan oleh Imam Bukhari dalam bab “Adab pada seseorang”, dan juga oleh Abu Dawud dari Sufyan bin Asid, dan dilemahkan oleh Ibn ‘Udai.)<br /><br /><br /><br />Jadi jelas bagi kita bahawa berbohong dengan cara yang dinyatakan, lebih khusus lagi dalam APRIL FOOL adalah HARAM dari sudut berikut:<br /><br />Pertama: Sikap berbohong itu sendiri adalah haram, seperti yang dilarang dalam al-Quran dan Sunnah.<br /><br />Kedua: Bohong yang mengandungi maksud untuk mempersendakan seseorang dan juga orang yang berada bersamanya sehingga menyebabkan ketakutan dan kerisauan yang mana ianya tidak berfaedah dan bermanfaat.<br /><br />Ketiga: Dikira berkhianat apabila seorang mempercayai kamu sedangkan kamu berbohong padanya.<br /><br />Empat: Berleluasa adat yang karut, yang merupakan ikutan yang batil yang tidak pernah timbul dalam masyarakat Islam (sebelum ini). Ia merupakan perumpamaan dari golongan yang bukan Islam yang mana ianya menonjolkan kehinaan mereka, dan kekarutan perilaku mereka.<br /><br />Mereka (orang yang bukan Islam yang memulakan adat itu) telah memasukkan penipuan pada suatu masa, sehingga menyebakan ianya tersebar pada masyarakat keseluruhannya.<br /><br /><br />Secara kesimpulannya, berbohong adalah dilarang dalam setiap perilaku kita seharian, dan ianya lebih-lebih lagi diharamkan sempena APRIL FOOL mengikut apa yang telah kami nyatakan. Dan tidaklah cocok bagi seorang muslim untuk membantu dalam mempromosikan PALSU ini, moga Allah memberkati.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-5480234683474620863?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-88261077557012879642010-03-30T22:03:00.003+08:002010-03-30T22:48:52.273+08:00too many things to memorize really...<br /><br />n im being super lazy at the moment...<br />i feel like i fell a long time ago, and when im trying to get up, i slip and fall again...<br /><br />i am beginning to wonder if i am taking too long or not..<br />coz i am really slow lately...<br />ahh.. i will wait and see...<br /><br />after all.. watching is the only thing i can do...<br /><br />but i guess this week has been pretty bright... i feel glad despite everything...<br /><br />maybe coz im finally accepting this challenge...<br /><br />n one more thing..<br />when we help other people, we will feel better.. especially when we don't expect anything in return... especially when we are sincere...<br /><br />i really love that book "LA TAHZAN"<br /><br />it helped me<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-8826107755701287964?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-1273041061575790132010-03-22T20:54:00.002+08:002010-03-22T21:08:50.586+08:00today.. i'd like to quote what people told me...<br />well.. not exactly quoting la... kinda story gak... but.. ah nvm... here we go..<br /><br />while in Mecca, having lunch..<br /><br />dayat: ckp dgn die sayangilah moyang die tu... nnti bila org2 tua ni da tkde baru nk rindu la melalak la... tgk aku.. tinggal dua nenen=k je tau...!<br /><br />aku: haha.. at least maseh ada lagi.. aku da tkde tros... tp mmg btol la ckp kau tu..<br /><br />hehe... k next...<br /><br />Dr Asri kata mereka yg hanya risaukan dunia.. Allah akan sempitkan hidup die... wlwpon kite tgk mereka ni hebat tapi hidop mereka berserabot dgn mcm2 masalah.. ada kwn dikhianati dan sebagainya... yang penting Allah akan hancurkan urusan die di dunia ni... tetapi kalau die risaukan akhirat... Allah akan kayakan die dlm hatinye.. die akan tenang...<br /><br />Dr Asri juga pesan setiap kali ditimpa musibah... katekanlah: "Hasbuna Allahu Wa Ni'ma Al-Wakil..."<br /><br />kite serahkan semua urusan kita pada Allah... Allah lah sebaik2 tempat rujukan... utk berdakwah tk mudah... mesti ada pahitnya... tapi itulah.. kita belajar nk jadi penceramah ke pendakwah? kalau nk jadi pendakwah kenelah tempuh jalan pendakwah....<br /><br />ni lah die antara pesanan2 kwn kat mekah sorg tu n Dr Asri... mudah2an bermanfaat utk yg membaca dan utk aku sendiri...<br /><br />حسبنا الله ونعم الوكيل<br /><br />الله أكبر<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-127304106157579013?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-81612825144578636002010-03-13T21:38:00.002+08:002010-03-13T21:43:05.020+08:00aduhhh...<br />belajar baru minggu kedua... aku rasa aku da lost sikit in certain subjects...<br />payah dol....<br />but no need to push the panic button..<br />hehehe<br />kene bnk bertenang je waktu2 mcmni...<br /><br />keletah aku kat jamiah islamiah di madinah...<br />org dtg panggil aku dari jauh..<br />bagi salam n tanye kabar...<br />aku plak jwb salam... bobal sikit tanye psl kuliah die sume...<br />tros bagi salam<br />aku ckp insya allah jumpe lagi...<br /><br />bila masing2 da bawak haluan sendiri..<br />aku pusing kat salehan...<br />"aku sebenarnya tk tau nama die dok"<br /><br />hahaha<br />kadang2 malu pon ada...n heran gak la<br />mcmane dorg boleh igt aku n nama aku <br />aku plak igt muka dorg tp nama langsong tk tau<br />hahahaha<br /><br />it sure is peaceful...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-8161282514457863600?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-31740950371256085142010-03-05T03:27:00.002+08:002010-03-05T03:38:36.417+08:00the first week of kuliah...<br />it was frightening at first coz i dont know what to expect...<br />and i was scared coz i know my level...<br />but turns out... i think i can do this thing... alhamdulillah...<br />all i need is some confidence in my own self...<br />besides... i'm not alone... so its not that bad...<br />first week... and we were told to buy a lot of books already..<br />and somehow i feel like regretting my ridiculous spending spree in Jeddah...<br />hahaha<br />but its ok... i can buy them at a later time...<br /><br />but seriously... money is a huge issue...<br />got to save.. and when i do return i really have to find a job...<br />ir else... i cant afford anything...<br />i would have stopped studying if it wasnt for this place...<br />alhamdulillah...<br />so gotta give this my best shot...<br /><br />so yea... so far so good...<br />except sometimes im at a lost as to what the syeikh was talking about...<br />but thats mainly because my head was wandering somewhere else rather than the syeikh being so hard to be understood...<br /><br />get my head back here...<br />and all will go well insya allah...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-3174095037125608514?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-60573162750561493342010-02-24T14:22:00.003+08:002010-02-24T16:30:25.716+08:00Ya Allah...<br />it's no kidding that i am tired already...<br />in fact, too tired....<br />a friend said that this is what i get for staying in ma'had too long...<br />i don't know... maybe he's right...<br />he's my senior after all...<br />now i feel like i'm exhausted when i haven't even begin...<br /><br />this is bed... i don't seem to wake up...<br />it's taking me too long to get up....<br />or is it me who don't want to get up?<br /><br />it's too hard when i want to do it but couldn't muster enough strength...<br />and courage...<br /><br />in the end...<br />i know i'm lost... and i lost...<br /><br />but i'm gonna make it through...<br />i'm good at it after all...<br /><br />right?<br /><br />its the death of the guardian angel..<br />your guardian angel...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-6057316275056149334?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-62921275751739369402010-02-20T03:27:00.002+08:002010-02-20T03:48:54.562+08:00this time.. i don't know who to turn to...<br />this time... yes... this time...<br />i know and i believe that Allah has the best plans arranged for me...<br />but why am i still keeping my heart shut?<br />why can't i see the light? why do i feel myself.... dying?<br />i feel my heart's dying....<br /><br />my friend... thank you for telling me the truth... or on your part at least...<br />but my friend...<br />can sorry heal me?<br />can sorry erase what i'm going through?<br />can sorry alone bring back what i have lost?<br />can sorry alone really makes you understand me? understand my pain?<br /><br />my friend...<br />do you know what you and the rest have done to me? to us?<br />is this what you have in mind from the beginning my friend...?<br />to make me end everything... then feed on the scrapes left behind...<br />taking advantage of that person's vulnerability?<br />taking advantage of my precarious position?<br />what is it actually that you are trying to make that person realise?<br />what are you trying to accomplish now?<br /><br />my friend.. can your sorry clear my name?<br />can your sorry swallow all the insults i suffered alone at the hands of all you people?<br />can your sorry make me happy again? get us together again?<br /><br />are you sincere my friend?<br />you said you feel for me.. but are you?<br />do you really feel what i feel? do you cry the way i'm crying?<br /><br />my friend.. are you proud?<br />are you happy?<br />what is the value of your sorry my friend?<br />do you even mean it when u apologize?<br />are u apologizing but actually smiling for what you have accomplished?<br /><br />are you sure you know me? are you sure you understand my hell?<br /><br />do you know how much that person means to me my friend?<br />can your sorry erase everything my friend..?<br /><br />please..<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />ARE YOU PROUD MY FRIEND?!</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-6292127575173936940?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-19490048905848633832010-02-15T15:59:00.005+08:002010-02-15T18:51:51.805+08:00i have to admit that i love to analyze people...<br />i love to watch what people i know do...<br />i'm always looking to find some sort of reasons for their actions and behaviors...<br />i want to feel what they feel.. or at least understand them...<br />i want to know why they are happy.... i want to know why they are sad...<br />i want to feel their pain... and understand them....<br /><br />BUT....<br /><br />for someone who loves doing this...<br />i am always ignorant to the things concerning myself....<br />and when i notice what's happening to me... it will always be too late....<br />everything i do to help myself is always too late...<br /><br />look at me...<br />i'm too late to change my hp to the ones that has wi-fi....<br />and i am late to afford internet connection at my hostel...<br />everything i do.... always too late...<br />and i end up the loser.....<br /><br />i'm unabled to stop my hatred... and i am regretting too much....<br /><br />i don't know if i was good enough....<br /><br />i don't know why i can't get hold of things... keeping everything as they are...<br /><br />i don't know why i hate YOU so much... hate everything about YOU...<br />but i still love and miss YOU...<br /><br />but come to think of it... i guess i just love messing things up for myself..<br /><br />so now i'm in Jeddah... shopping and relaxing...<br /><br />but when i sleep... even i was shocked to find tears in my eyes when i wake up....<br /><br />but hey....<br /><br />the good thing about this trip is...<br /><br />I SPENT NEARLY 700 RIYALS IN TWO DAYS...<br /><br />yes... i don't spend very much..<br />but this time... well... <br /><br />i just want to be happy again...<br /><br />but i can't do anything about my heart...<br /><br />it keeps remembering...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-1949004890584863383?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-84919137520301010252010-02-04T16:09:00.002+08:002010-02-04T16:32:41.279+08:00hmm.. so result's out... i'm thankful but i'm not that ptoud of it... coz everything seems to go downhill for me in terms of my studies... i'm worried but i can't be bothered to improve the situation really... hehe...<br /><br />but then again... people always tell me: "u always lie when u say u can't make it or u fail" <br />hahaha...<br />somehow i feel good... and this cheered me up indeed...<br /><br />so here's my result... laugh if u want to.. hahaha...<br /><br />القران:99<br />التفسير:69<br />التوحيد:67<br />التاريخ:90<br />التدريبات:86<br />النصوص:84<br />القراءة:91<br />التعبير:72<br />جيد جدّا<br />3.88 points<br /><br />see.. i told u my points are getting lower each time.. and its dangerous...<br /><br />well... <br /><br />better prepare myself for a new challenge again...<br /><br />thank u all for the prayers and well-wishes...<br /><br />n i want to thank those who trusts me and makes me feel appreciated...<br /><br />what faritz said was true... i have been hating myself, beating myself up one too many times.. thanks bro...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-8491913752030101025?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-38179313958816386912010-02-02T13:58:00.002+08:002010-02-02T14:06:33.773+08:00"mana sia dia yg kuat semangat dulu?"<br /><br />"dia da lama mati sejak dia hilang tulang belakang dia.."<br /><br />"tak.. sebelum tu.. die tkde tulang belakang pun semangat dia kuat.."<br /><br />dia tak ada lagi.. dah lama mati<br /><br />"aku percaya dia belum mati... kalau mati pun dia boleh dihidupkan balik.."<br /><br />kau tk nmpk ke? aku dah tk boleh dah...<br /><br />sorry coz he's long dead<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-3817931395881638691?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-45853772106434703712010-01-29T19:01:00.002+08:002010-01-29T19:21:12.891+08:00time for my unimportant post in the middle of examination period..<br />hehe<br />i have been all stressed out... and very tired right now...<br />and i remembered something.. and i begin questioning...<br /><br />what is love? why you love?<br /><br />why is there someone who loves a person but think that that person is always better off with someone else other than him? is it love in this case?<br /><br />and why is there someone who loves a person but always think that he is always in that person's way? think that he is always a burden to everybody even to that person.. why is that? is this love?<br /><br />why love? is it just to erase loneliness?<br /><br />is it love when you do everything and only want the person you love's happiness regardless of your own? sacrificing your happiness to see them happy but in the end you realise that you can't handle the despair of your loss... is this love? or plain stupidity?<br /><br />and then i wonder... what sort of love do i have?<br /><br />is it enough? or is it something that didn't even reach her? is it something she couldn't tell and feel? <br /><br />haha...<br /><br />see.. i told u its confusing when u enter my mind during exams.. how the heck do i find the time to think about all this?<br /><br />i find this weird.. hahaha<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-4585377210643470371?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-21363440903719438832010-01-27T14:49:00.004+08:002010-01-27T15:33:08.052+08:00yesterday.. before getting ready to school and take my exams,<br />i read something...<br />and everything i read made me cry harder and harder...<br />starting from the unexpected thing...<br />to the materials that i read afterwards....<br />i kept crying on my way to school thinking about everything...<br />shocked, happy, sad, regret, misery, loneliness, pity, envy, love<br />and missing..<br />all in one go... and everything goes to the surface...<br />and i remember my reason for everything that i did... yes... i only want the best and i don't care what happens to me later... turns out bad really... im not strong enough to handle my own self... really...<br /><br />luckily enough for me... <br />as i reached school, i regained my composure n concentration... <br />and i didn't suffer from mental block like the day before...<br />and put everything aside...<br /><br />God i wish that everything was true.... everything that i read yesterday was true...<br />because if they weren't, then they are sick jokes indeed...<br /><br />but then again... i know my place... i know my situation...<br />i know my limitations... the things that i simply can't reach out to...<br />the things that i cannot gain... i know the things that are impossible for me at the moment... no matter how much i want it, i just couldn't...<br /><br />and even if they weren't true...<br /><br />at least i was honest in everything...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-2136344090371943883?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-56825513972881556202010-01-23T00:01:00.004+08:002010-01-23T00:08:22.372+08:00<span style="font-weight:bold;">EVEN IF I CAN'T SEE YOU..<br />EVEN IF I CAN'T SPEAK TO YOU...<br />EVEN IF WE'RE SEPERATED FOR A LONG TIME...<br />NO LONGER TOGETHER...<br /><br />I'LL ALWAYS BE WATCHING YOU...<br /><br />I'LL ALWAYS BE WATCHING OVER YOU<br /><br />I'LL ALWAYS BE...</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-5682551397288155620?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-71110174124642663962010-01-20T00:12:00.001+08:002010-01-20T00:12:34.314+08:00I cant get thru the internet so yea... Its been 3 weeks n0w..<br />During that peri0d i've been having tests after tests and it has been a stressful peri0d.. But i d0nt l0ok like it.. So they say that im different.. Hahaha.. Quite pissed off when they keep sayin that im different.. I d0nt kn0w if thats a c0mpliment or s0mething else.. Hahaha<br />K n interview is d0ne t0o.. I think i will f0ll0w my heart n try 2 study syariah.. Even th0ugh at one p0int i th0ught of learning arabic language.. Its okay.. I never made up my mind.. One m0ment hadith n the next da'wah n then language.. So i think i did the right thing n follow what my heart said the first time.. N0w lets h0pe that im accepted there..<br />Other than these i d0nt have anything 2 tell n share.. Hahaha<br />Guess my life is taking a turn t0wards the b0ring side n n0thing much to talk ab0ut..<br />Yea.. This is the way i think.. Ever since i made this decisi0n..<br />To come here.. Learn.. L0se s0me things al0ng the way n gain s0me..<br />Well we are supp0sed to be m0re c0ntented the m0re we learn.. And kn0w that these are all fated 2 be.. And al0ng the way we will find out the reas0n why God made these things happen n thank Him..<br />But im a little bit different.. I keep questioning n w0ndering where is the wisd0m behind the tests that im g0ing thr0ugh.. Keep questi0ning where are th0se things, better things 4 me 2 replace whats g0ne..<br />N this is n0t go0d..<br />I d0nt kn0w why im very impatient..<br />So God.. If all these are good for me in my life then help me 2 feel c0ntented with what u have arranged 4 me.. N help me st0p myself from asking You ab0ut the wisd0m behind everything n st0p me from asking u things which i have no knowledge of whether or not its good for me or not..<br />Help me ya Allah..<br />N st0p me from w0rrying ab0ut things.. All i want is to try n do things for Your sake..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-7111017412464266396?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-89449480609193730982009-12-25T19:58:00.001+08:002009-12-25T20:00:00.277+08:00assalamualaikum everybody...<br /><br />doing great or what haaaaaa?!!! hehehe...<br /><br />k today im serious... im just sharing an important information.... here we go...<br /><br />here's a gentle reminder...<br />its xmas today, Jesus' birthday as the christians say... but they actually don't have a clue if its true or not.. yet everybody knows about it...<br /><br />but let us all do something better... instead of remembering people's birthdays and the holidays, lets pay more attention on the sunnah to be done throughout the islamic calender...<br /><br />its 10 muharram this sunday, 27 december...<br />the prophet pbuh said that whoever fasts on the 10th of muharram will have his sins of the past year forgiven by Allah..<br /><br />this sunnah came to be when the prophet moved to Medina from Mecca.. he saw the yahudis fast on the 10th muharram... so he asked them why... and they told him that it is a holy day in which Allah helped Moses pbuh and saved him and his companions from pharoah, so they fast on this day...<br /><br />then the prophet said that muslims are more obliged to Moses pbuh and this day than the yahudis because muslims believe in Moses pbuh and his teachings while the yahudis don't...<br /><br />and so the muslims too began fasting on the 10th muharram...<br /><br />and as we all know.. the prophet pbuh is always doing something different compared to all the ahlul kitab to distinguish the difference between muslims and the rest of the ahlul kitab...<br /><br />so one day a sahabat-whom i don't remember his name.. pardon me for not being a hafiz.. i write these at the spur of the moment-pointed out to the prophet pbuh that fasting on the 10th muharram only is what the yahudis do... so the prophet answered:"if i could then i would fast on the 9th" or as he said... meaning that the prophet would fast on the 9th and 10th together just to differentiate between the muslims and yahudis... but the prophet passed away that year and didn't have the chance to fast on these days the following year according to this sahabat...<br /><br />and if we add monday to the list for the monday-thursday sunnah the better... after all.. Muharram is one of the months in which the prophet pbuh fasts in most days...<br /><br />and there are scholars who said that its better to fast on the 9th, 10th and 11th together...<br /><br />and in the case of choosing 2 of the 3 days mentioned, fasting on the 9th and 10th together is better than fasting on the 10th and 11th together...<br /><br />so prove your love to the prophet pbuh like you said you do!<br /><br />its easy to say things but not doing anything to prove what we say... right...?<br /><br />so if you could, fast then.... unless those of you who couldn't do so...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">PROVE OUR LOVE TO HIM BY PERFORMING THIS SMALL SUNNAH... ONE OF HIS MANY SUNNAH...</span><br /><br />Allah knows best...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-8944948060919373098?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-68336972012289627272009-12-22T02:05:00.003+08:002009-12-22T03:28:44.935+08:00aku adalah orang yang sedang belajar...<br />namun aku sendiri sedar... aku masih sama... tiada perubahan...<br />memang sukar untuk mempraktikkan apa yang sudah kita pelajari...<br />memang terlalu banyak dugaan...<br />apa aku sudah bersedia?<br /><br />tangisan kedukaanku aku kira sudah melampaui batas...<br />tak ada keikhlasan ke dalam diri aku ini apabila cuba mengingati Allah dan dalam cubaanku mencapai azamku?<br />apa aku ni cakap tak serupa bikin?<br /><br />pergilah rinduku... pergilah kedukaanku...<br />dan balaskan aku dengan segala yang lebih baik daripada semua ini...<br />sebaiknya titiskanlah airmata taubat... takut akan segala yang dah aku lakukan... takut apakah itu semua benar2 sudah aku tinggalkan dan diampunkan sudah?<br /><br />bantulah aku mengikhlaskan niatku...<br /><br />aku masih terlalu lemah untuk berubah<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-6833697201228962727?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-52527708561110967512009-12-20T23:09:00.002+08:002009-12-20T23:27:33.415+08:00alhamdulillah...<br />segala puji bagi Allah....<br />aku sebenarnya kini dalam musim peperiksaan...<br />sepanjang bulan ini... CA dan exam terus...<br />andai aku lulus... aku akan mulakan perjalanan aku di kuliah pula...<br />subhanallah...<br />memang benar...<br />tidak ada apa yang mudah selain dari apa yang dipermudahkan Allah...<br />walau apa pun... aku sungguh bersyukur pada Allah kerana memudahkan aku banyak hal...<br />alhamdulillah...<br />lewat ini aku berfikir kembali.. menghitung kembali..<br />aku sedar... kalau aku tidak dapat melanjutkan pelajaran di sini november 2008 kelmarin...<br />sudah tentu aku tidak akan belajar di mana-mana lagi...<br />dan pastinya aku masih bersama si dia...<br />tetapi yang terjadi lain...<br /><br />aku bersyukur dipermudahkan belajar... aku bersyukur dipermudahkan menunaikan haji pada usia yang muda ini... aku bersyukur dipermudahkan usaha aku untuk berubah... aku menghitung kembali... apa yang diambil cuma sedikit daripada nikmat yang dicurahkan padaku...<br /><br />setahun lepas kini biarkan ia pergi...<br />ingat pada apa yang diberi dan bukan pada apa yang diambil dariku...<br /><br />alhamdulillah.. sakit batuk2 pun dah berkurang...<br />tetapi tak dapat dinafikan adalah sukar untuk aku belajar dan dapat markah yang terbaik kerana banyak kelas yang aku tidak hadir...<br />tetapi tak apa... aku nak buktikan semuanya dah berlalu...<br /><br />walaupun hati aku yang lemah ini sentiasa teringat kembali dan ingin membentak...<br />namun.. aku yang kini... hanya ada satu sasaran yang ingin dicapai...<br />mudah2an Allah memudahkannya juga...<br /><br />okay sekarang dah muhasabah diri...<br />sekarang kita tengok... ada perubahan ke tidak dalam diri aku ni....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-5252770856111096751?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-74759625480938553272009-12-19T18:16:00.002+08:002009-12-19T18:52:23.114+08:00<object width="335" height="296" class="BLOG_video_class" id="BLOG_video-1f9d774bd41c3946" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/get_player"><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="flashvars" value="flvurl=http://v4.nonxt6.googlevideo.com/videoplayback?id%3D1f9d774bd41c3946%26itag%3D5%26app%3Dblogger%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1331586204%26sparams%3Did,itag,ip,ipbits,expire%26signature%3D6C1ED9DFB768E389902597C13E1108FE2E9675B4.4F1C7E065B55C4879B6747DF604A2CCE06DF11BE%26key%3Dck1&amp;iurl=http://video.google.com/ThumbnailServer2?app%3Dblogger%26contentid%3D1f9d774bd41c3946%26offsetms%3D5000%26itag%3Dw160%26sigh%3Dfr-m9OlLZ0q1YSkuuBv-ZE2vbZs&amp;autoplay=0&amp;ps=blogger"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/get_player" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"width="335" height="296" bgcolor="#FFFFFF"flashvars="flvurl=http://v4.nonxt6.googlevideo.com/videoplayback?id%3D1f9d774bd41c3946%26itag%3D5%26app%3Dblogger%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1331586204%26sparams%3Did,itag,ip,ipbits,expire%26signature%3D6C1ED9DFB768E389902597C13E1108FE2E9675B4.4F1C7E065B55C4879B6747DF604A2CCE06DF11BE%26key%3Dck1&iurl=http://video.google.com/ThumbnailServer2?app%3Dblogger%26contentid%3D1f9d774bd41c3946%26offsetms%3D5000%26itag%3Dw160%26sigh%3Dfr-m9OlLZ0q1YSkuuBv-ZE2vbZs&autoplay=0&ps=blogger"allowFullScreen="true" /></object> <br /><br /><br /><br />this sums up everything...<br />it really does..<br />and its nice..<br />one of my all-time favorites...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-7475962548093855327?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-981356365986945842009-12-17T11:32:00.003+08:002009-12-17T11:59:23.741+08:00setahun sudah....<br />alhamdulillah... dah tak ditangiskan lagi apa yg terjadi serahun lepas...<br />walaupun ia tetap segar dalam benak fikiranku....<br />dah ku terima apa yang terjadi sebagai satu ketentuan untuk diriku....<br />mungkin juga penyelamat....<br /><br />Nabi S.A.W. pernah mengingatkan kita agar jangan terlalu mencintai seseorang kerana mungkin satu hari nanti kita akan tidak berkenan padanya... dan jangan pula terlalu membenci seseorang kerana mingkin akan tiba hari dimana kita akan mencintai dirinya....<br /><br />mungkin kerana satu hari nanti aku akan membencinya..<br />mungkin kerana satu hari nanti aku tidak sanggup dan tidak sabar...<br />kerana akulah yang kenal dengan diri aku sendiri lebih dalam dari orang lain...<br />aku memang sedar aku bukan seorang yang terlalu bersabar...<br />akan tiba satu hari di mana aku akan hilang pertimbangan dan aku akan rasa benci walaupun pada asalnya aku memang sanggup menanggung sesuatu hal contohnya....<br /><br />jadi bila aku boleh berfikir begini dan sedar yang ini semua adalah ketentuan, sedar akan hikmah-hikmah yang mungkin tersirat di sebalik apa yang berlaku...<br />kenapa masih lagi mengeluh?<br /><br />hahaha.... masalah hati memang terlalu kompleks... hanya pada Allah aku memohon...<br /><br />hakikatnya aku tidak dapat melupakan.... namun sampai bila?<br />adakah keadaanku kini menunjukkan aku redha?<br />selagi aku tidak benar-benar redha.... hati ini akan terus tertutup....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-98135636598694584?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-81776080786461261222009-12-15T00:28:00.000+08:002009-12-15T00:29:40.386+08:00<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Rahsia Kesabaranku... -DATA-</span><br /><br />Sayu...hilang....<br />Rahsiaku selamanya...<br />Untuk...aku terus menyintai dirimu<br /><br />Aku...pendam....<br />Jadi khazanah semalam...<br />Semoga....engkau bahagia...<br /><br />Setelah aku melihatmu..berubah..<br />Tutur ku tiada menjaga hati<br />Apalagi guna rahsia ini kan ku persembahkan<br />Ku cuba pertahankan perasaan ku<br />Namun kau terus menduga<br />Kesabaran ini<br />Dipersenda<br /><br />Kiranya hujan turun membasahi dirimu<br />Itulah airmata dari hatiku<br />Menghitung hari hari bersama namun aku dikecewa<br /><br />Andainya ada bayu membelai wajahmu<br />Ia membawa kata pesan dari ku<br />Aku kini dapat menerima perpisahan ini </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-8177608078646126122?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-14779251912175966952009-12-13T17:52:00.003+08:002009-12-13T18:19:45.602+08:00let's update a lil...<br />i have been coughing non-stop ever since haji...<br />so its been 2-3 weeks already...<br />and during that time...<br />i also fell sick with fever and very bad headaches...<br />my appetite is affected and last time i checked i swear i lost some weight...<br />i'm skinny as i am already, underweight.. and now instead of gaining some i lose some more...<br /><br />so yeah... hope for the best for me...<br />pray that my health improves....<br /><br />ok let's continue the journey...<br />it was 10 of zulhijjah... i was on my way to Mina to throw pebbles at the Jamrah Aqabah...<br />i was seperated from everybody... and just walked... alone among the sea of people...<br />never stop talbiah...<br /><br />and i finally reached there after walking for nearly three hours....<br />yup.. its one heck of a journey... and i evaded some policemen to protect the books n praying mat that i brought along with me for my stint at Muzdalifah from being thrown away...<br />how...? well.. only God knows... hehe...<br /><br />after throwing those 7 pebbles... i went straight to Masjidil Haram which is 7 km away from the Jamrah...<br />so walked again... and without eating anything first i went to do the tawaf haji straightaway n sa'i haji too... it took me nearly 3 hours to complete both nusuk...<br />then i waited for jumaat prayers.. only after that i went to eat at Zam Zam tower...<br />after having my lunch i shaved my head bald and i walked to Mina... reaching there just before Asar prayer...<br /><br />from that day onwards it was free and easy... no more ihram and no more talbiah... but after finishing the jamrah aqabah we only busied ourselves with takbir... and tahmid...<br /><br />it was great... so the following days... as in 11,12, and 13 of zulhijjah.. we went to throw pebbles at Jamrah Sughra, Wustho and Aqabah after we heard the azan for zohor prayers...<br />it was a 30 minute walk from our tent to the Jamarat...<br />so everyday we spent 1 1/2 hours going to the Jamarat, supplicate, and back to the tent...<br />and while in the tent we do what we have to do as pilgrims.... just doing anything that is good...<br /><br />and went to Masjid Haram for tawaf wada' on the 13th...and went straight back to Medina....<br /><br />and alhamdulillah... i have completed the haj for myself...<br />the best thing about this is...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">if i die tomorrow, i don't have to trouble anybody to perform haj for me..<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />so i am no longer a burden to anybody anymore now.......<br /><br /></span></span>alhamdulillah... it has been 2 years since the last time i asked my parents for a cent...<br />or buy me anything at all...<br />and now they really don't have anything to worry about me now that i performed haji...<br /><br />except taking care of my well-being while i'm in Singapore until the day i get married...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">ربِّ اغفر لِي ولوالديَّ وارحمهما كما ربَّيانِي صغيراً<br /><br />O God.. forgive me and my parents<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span>.. and bless them both the way they have been blessing me with love and care since the day i was born...<br /></span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-1477925191217596695?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-59757131246300960512009-12-09T23:50:00.002+08:002009-12-09T23:53:42.441+08:00i quote this from my very good friend... a very old friend of mine... it's something that i should keep in my mind... here we go..<br /><br /><br /><h3 class="GenericStory_Message" ft="{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;msg&quot;}">Cinta datang kepada orang yang masih mempunyai harapan walaupun mereka telah dikecewakan. Kepada mereka yang masih percaya, walaupun mereka telah dikhianati. Kepada mereka yang masih ingin mencintai, walaupun mereka telah disakiti sebelumnya dan kepada mereka yang mempunyai keberanian dan keyakinan untuk membangunkan kembali kepercayaan.</h3><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-5975713124630096051?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-59314787213521180562009-12-08T14:17:00.002+08:002009-12-08T14:35:11.271+08:00okay let's continue shall we?<br /><br />so after the sunset... we left arafah to go spend the night at Muzdalifah...<br />here in Muzdalifah is a place called Mash'ar Al-Haram...<br />this is one of the places where our prayers are heard too...<br />so after walking between 5 and 8 km from arafah to muzdalifah....<br />we finally reached there.. so we prayed jama' ta'khir....<br />and picked up some stones for the jamarat...<br /><br />and according to the sunnah...<br />the prophet slept after prayers and begin praying and supplications when he woke up near the fajr prayer time...<br />so that's what we did too...<br />after prayers.... had some food for dinner and then sleep straightaway....<br />here... my fever was at its worst...<br /><br />woke up at 4am and i really needed the toilet...<br />guess what... the women.. very unpatient women..... were quarrelling with the men..<br />the said all the toilets are for women....<br />stupid fools for me...<br />their numbers were far smaller than men, and there were 10 cubicles.. divided evenly 5 for them and for men... yet they made a lot of commotion... but its typical right.... hahaha<br /><br />so yeah... had to que up for an hour.. yes... AN HOUR... before it was my turn to use the toilet...<br />after doing what i had to do i took my wudhu' and it was time for fajr prayers...<br />so after praying...<br />i sat alone and just like in Arafah...<br />every single one of us began praying......<br /><br />so it was already 10th of zulhijjah..<br />everybody are celebrating eid...<br />but for us... just before the sun rises we left Muzdalifah to go to Mina and throw 7 stones at the Jamrah Al-Kubra.....<br /><br />luckily it was closer from Muzdalifah to Mina...only 3-5 km...<br />but we walked more than that of course because the jamrah is located somewhere at the end of Mina.... hahahha<br /><br />but it was fun... all the way as i walked... i never stopped saying the talbiah...<br />i guess one of the reason why we are told to say it is because it helps us fight fatigue.. seriously...<br />i didn't even think of tiredness until i finished haj altogether and reached Medina...<br />subhanallah... everything has a reason in this world.....<br /><br />i said the talbiah all the way until i lost my voice... hahaha... and i didn't even shout at all throughout the haj.. yet i lost my voice...<br /><br />so when walking towards Mina... i got seperated from my friends.... and i was alone among the sea of people walking in the same direction......<br /><br />alright....<br /><br />to be continued....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-5931478721352118056?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-87037374536530046412009-12-07T13:25:00.002+08:002009-12-07T13:46:08.432+08:00ah..kurang sihat...<br />i am getting sick of panadols too..hahaa<br />no matter...<br />i should just rest and also study for the upcoming tests...<br />plus the interview..<br /><br />lets continue the haji adventure account shall we?<br /><br />9th zulhijjah... the day of arafah...<br />this is the day which prophet mohamed said that the best day in which the sun rises is the day of arafah... and the best thing he and all the prophets that came before him said is LAA ILAAHA ILLA ALLAHU...<br />this is one of the days and places where all pilgrims' prayers and supplications are heard..<br />and those who didn't perform haji, if they fast on this day, their sins from the previous year and the coming year are forgiven... yes.. this is what the prophet told us... and we believe him...<br /><br />so on this day after subuh prayers, we prepared ourselves to go to Arafah from Mina...<br />it is one very long journey mind you...<br />so we were very fortunate to be abled to jump to one of the buses.. ignoring all the less pleased voices heard throughout the bus...haha<br />we reached Arafah around 8am..<br />there we rested...until zohor prayer..<br />listened to the arafah khutbah before that....<br />after the prayers...<br />i sat somewhere far away from other people...<br />to pray... to supplicate... cried..... read the Quran<br /><br />sat for hours doing so.... and after maghrib... went to Muzdalifah to spend the night there...<br />it was about 5-8km walk...<br />yes.....<br />from that point onwards... we just walked....<br /><br />to be continued....<br /><br />ah.. how sad can i be?<br />how much longer am i willing to trouble myself...? to trouble my heart?<br /><br />Ya Allah... i seek refuge from asking you things that i have no knowledge of.. things that i am not sure whether they are good for me or bad....<br />help me... so i only ask what i know will be good for me Ya Allah.... and i leave the rest of my life in Your hands Ya Allah...<br /><br />everything that You never gave me.. and everything that i used to have... the girl that i love so much....<br />help me.. to let them all go.....<br />recompense me with much better things here and the hereafter Ya Allah.. for You are the Almighty.. All Rich...<br /><br />save me from my own troubled heart Ya Allah....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-8703737453653004641?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-18841747286655810102009-12-02T15:34:00.004+08:002009-12-02T17:04:50.869+08:00alhamdulillah... praise be to Allah...<br />i have finally completed the 5th pillar of islam after delaying it for a year..<br />alhamdulillah allazi yassara li amri haza...<br /><br />and since there are people telling me to change the skin...<br />so this is it...<br /> a new look for this stupid old blog....<br /><br /><br />so let's tell a little story now... about the experience i had k...<br />on 7th zulhijjah.. my friends and i left the jamiah in Medina..<br />we took buses to Mecca.. i was assigned to a group filled with students from africa and india...<br />that means we hae a very noisy bunch of people..hahaha<br /><br />the thing is... we already got tested on this journey...<br />it should only take us 6 hours to reach Mecca from Medina...<br />but due to some misunderstandings among the driver and the people in charge...we ended up having to sit in the bus for 13 hours before we reach Mina..not Mecca...<br /><br />so for me who was performing a Tamattu' haj... i must go to Mecca no matter what to perform umrah first....<br />and guess what... i got to know that there will be no buses at all for our remaining nusuk...<br />so my friend and i walked from Mina to Mecca to perform umrah....<br />and it was a 7km walk....<br /><br />as soon as we reached Mecca.. we did the tawaf and sai umrah before cutting our hair short...<br />we took a break to have lunch at burger king...<br />but when we wanted to walk and return to Mina....<br />heavy rain falls... subhanallah....<br />it was a blessing indeed.. rain is a rarity here in Mecca...<br /><br />but it was also a problem for us who were wearing ihram...<br />we cant cover our heads or wear raincoats or anything that are stitched...<br />and we were trying to get a hold of umbrellas offered...<br />but they were only given to women and old people...<br /><br />so guess what...<br />we walked through the heavy downpour...<br />on our way..there were lightning...<br />and the power in the tunnel was cut off momentarily...<br />that's when i saw that there was fire burning somewhere near a hotel...<br />and the areas near the masjid haram was already flooding...<br /><br />but we just walked to return to Mina..<br />and on the way.. on the area called aziziah...<br />the water was also rising a little bit...<br />but we just walked through it....<br /><br />finally we reached Mina...<br />and from that time onwards, i got fever...<br /><br />to be continued......................<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-1884174728665581010?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-32175935265654048912009-11-23T06:06:00.005+08:002009-11-23T06:37:25.365+08:00finally.. i have the privilege of internet after one whole boring week...<br />now i realise how addicted i am to the internet...<br />hahaha...<br />haiiiizzzz.....<br /><br />you see.. it's really been awhile....<br />since i got to know that i have a chance for pilgrimage, everything seems to come back to me...<br />i don't know.. i don't like these flashbacks i'm having....<br />"maybe it's something that will prevent u from making the same mistakes and be a better person"<br />that's what my friend said to me...<br />maybe yes.... maybe no....<br /><br />and one more thing that is making me cry very hard is....<br />well....<br />yeah....<br />i took the tumbdrive which i kept so deep in my bag just now.... searched very hard for it before finally finding it....<br />i opened it with my laptop....<br />that's when i cried so hard....<br />there's a folder where i keep something that i love so much...<br />it was your pictures... i looked at them.... none taken together...<br />through all those tears, i clicked the mouse...<br />scroll it over the delete section....<br /><br />but i couldn't...<br />for i am still the fool....<br />i just couldn't..<br />i don't understand myself.. i don't even know why i'm like this now...<br />i don't even know why i suddenly wanted to look for that thumbdrive..<br /><br />i just removed that thumbdrive from my laptop...<br />and kept it at the place where i found it in....<br /><br />and i'm still crying...<br />i should call my parents before i go....<br /><br />why am i moving forward but i'm only looking at the back?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-3217593526565404891?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-19697432362739603502009-11-14T23:22:00.002+08:002009-11-14T23:35:23.481+08:00bagaimana nanti bila bertemu denganMu?<br />sudikah Kau menerima hambaMu yang hina ini?<br />andai aku hitung dosa-dosaku...mungkin gerbang syurgaMu pun tak dapat aku lihat...<br /><br />bagaimana nanti kalau aku dapat menunaikan farhu kelima nanti...<br />adakah benar aku juga akan tergolong dari kalangan mereka yang ibarat kain putih tanpa sedikit kekotoran pun?<br />adakah aku akan tergolong di kalangan mereka yang diampuni dosa-dosanya?<br /><br />bagaimana nanti kalau aku selamat menunaikan haji dan umurku panjang..<br />adakah aku akan tetap begini tanpa sebarang perubahan pun?<br />alangkah ruginya dan sialnya aku kalau sudah diampuni dosa tetapi selepas itu aku ulangi..<br /><br />Ya Allah...<br />Kau telah berfirman bahawasanya Kau takkan merubah nasib sesebuah kaum melainkan mereka mengubahnya dahulu....<br />tetapi aku sedar yang aku ini bukanlah seorang yang kuat dan tabah...<br />aku juga bukanlah seorang yang taat....<br />dosa-dosaku terlalu banyak..dan kini aku berada di Madinah pun aku masih melakukan dosa Ya Allah....<br />oleh itu bantulah aku...<br />aku tak mampu melakukan apa-apa tanpa bantuanMu...<br /><br />Kau cekalkanlah diriku ini Ya Allah..<br />pimpinlah aku untuk terus berpegang dengan agamamu ini Ya Allah...<br />jangan Kau golongkan aku di kalangan mereka yang keluar dari agamaMu ini setelah mereka beriman....<br /><br />Ya Allah....<br />bantulah aku Ya Allah...<br />jangan Kau biarkan aku menangis bukan kerana Engkau...<br />aku tidak mahu membazir airmataku ini lagi.....<br /><br />ampunkanlah dosa-dosaku... aku yang hina ini memohon padaMu yang maha mulia Ya Allah..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-1969743236273960350?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-545062318961167482009-11-09T03:13:00.003+08:002009-11-09T03:29:46.462+08:00mannn...<br />i dont know why..<br />even though i know school is tougher now compared to the first 2 semesters, i still feel lazy...<br />hahaha...<br />the tiredness... i don't seem like getting over it...<br />it's like i no longer have any fuel left in the tank... simply exhausted....<br /><br />BUT....<br /><br />a crazy senior of mine organised a friendly match with myanmar just now...<br />this time.. we won 4-2...<br />hahahah...<br />maybe lesson learnt....<br />maybe.. we concentrated more just now....<br />time to give it our all on another serious match later this thursday...<br /><br />the thing is... i am exhausted.. yet i can push my body to play in this match....<br />if only i could do the same in my studies...<br />hahahaha...<br /><br />k..<br />in my previous post... i said i keep dreaming of my old friends...<br />some from primary school and some from secondary and also pre-uni..<br />so just now after playing in that match i went to Haram...<br />then there were 2 jemaah haji from God knows where...<br />they were talking and laughing, and they looked exactly like zahirah and haryanti....<br />exactly like them when talking and laughing..<br />hahaha...<br /><br />aku tkna rapat dgn dorg.. tp boleh terigt dorg... seee.... get what i mean?<br /><br />i think i really miss my past la...<br /><br />i know life goes on... and we will meet some people and bid some of them goodbyes..<br /><br />but ignoring all feelings is impossible.. i guess there are times when you feel you really want to go back and relive those moments...<br /><br />it's like i'm caught somewhere in time right now...<br /><br />da tua la aku ni gaknye.... kwang kwang kwang....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-54506231896116748?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-35810569201308949942009-11-05T16:51:00.002+08:002009-11-05T16:59:38.658+08:00aww maaaannn.. losing is something i really hate..<br />but then again.... having said that...<br />we don't deserve to win judging from the way we played...<br /><br />hahahha..<br /><br />i don't like losing.. that's all....<br />but i like losing when we despite giving our all...<br />but just now.. i thought things could be better if we had shown more commitment in the last few weeks before we officially start...<br /><br />so yeaaaa....<br /><br />the result was embarrassing.. 7-1 against cambodia... but we should be okay if we were fitter..<br />i thought all of us switched off after half time...<br /><br />so let's work on improving our stamina.. hahaha.. easier said than done though...<br /><br />one more thing.. i've been dreaming about old friends alot lately....<br /><br />they were like memories relived in my dreams..<br /><br />does this means i'm missing my past?<br /><br />hahahaha...<br /><br />life goes on....<br /><br />ignoring all feelings.... is just impossible<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-3581056920130894994?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-77261906094400523242009-11-01T03:14:00.002+08:002009-11-01T03:25:01.161+08:00hari ni aku nk luahkan apa yang mengganggu kepala otak aku.....<br /><br />kini.. kau sedang rasa apa yang selama ini aku rasa.. betapa bingitnya kau kini kepada seseorang adalah sama bingitnya aku kepada kau satu ketika dulu.. ironinya.. atas satu sebab yg sama..<br /><br />dan kini ada sesuatu yang memelikkan aku sedikit... kenapa tetiba aku terigtkn kamu lagi...<br />da berbulan rasanya aku tkde rasa begini.. tetapi tetiba aku terigt kembali...<br />jadi ape sebenarnye yg kene dgn aku ni?<br />aku sendiri pon tk paham....<br /><br />tetapi mmg benar....<br />semuanya terlalu indah....<br /><br />apa yg aku bosan kini ialah aku seperti terlalu malas utk belajar.....<br />bagaimana nak aku tolak diriku sendiri lagi?<br />nmpknye aku nk kene tukar cara aku...<br /><br />apa yg merisaukan aku ialah kereta seolah2 ada masalah dalaman..mati la seyyy..<br />hahahaha....<br /><br />kini.. apa yg harus aku lakukan utk menang?<br /><br />hmmmmmmm<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-7726190609440052324?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1797798397774780147.post-1797669016249672792009-10-27T22:38:00.002+08:002009-10-27T23:02:47.322+08:00i am a normal human being.. with normal desires..<br />and normal habits.. and usual dreams and ambitions....<br />and normal abilities.. and normal feelings......<br /><br />lately.. as i sit in front of my laptop doing all sorts of things...<br />from watching movies and cartoons to playing games..<br />i begin to think about something...well...<br />because of the type of conversations i seem to have with some friends...<br />everybody just began talking about their problems and share them with me...<br />u know..normal teenagers' problems....<br /><br />am i that trustworthy that i seem to attract people with problems??<br />hahaha....<br /><br />but after talking with every single one of them....<br />i realize that most of the things i worry about are petty little things...<br />and they make me think...and i accidentally analyze people's behaviours...hahaha...<br />and i have come to a conclusion that at this day and age...<br />love, honesty, loyalty, commitment, sincerity, understanding and patience..<br />are things that don't come very easy...<br />it's existence is almost zero.. that's how hard it is to find these qualities in people...<br /><br />what's love anyway??<br />is it just being with that person?<br />or is it a commitment?<br />or is it just an excuse for sex??<br /><br />why say you love someone if you don't really think you want to be with them until the end..?<br />why say so only at the spur of the moment?? when hugging, kissing, sitting next to that special person or whatever......<br /><br />is that the purpose of saying "i love you" and having a relationship?<br />but when challenges arise or circumstances that need sacrifices only for a short while arise,<br />everybody turns their back on their love....<br />or at least..they thought it was love....<br /><br />hahaha...<br />i wish i can stay away from this crazy game....<br />and find someone who really loves....<br /><br />and i wish i can find the real definition of love..and give it to a person..<br />and obtain the same love from her...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1797798397774780147-179766901624967279?l=pizkek88.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>apizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13725001703075770760noreply@blogger.com0